Logical Fatalism

Today I visited with a friend of mine who shares a lot of things in common with me. One of the things we share is a belief in a power greater than ourselves although both of us would be quite reluctant to call that being God. We do call that being God, I suppose, because it is easier to say when we are conversing. God we think, is just too simplistic.

Another thing we both agree on is acceptance. The only way to over come the fear of death is with faith, courage, and acceptance. With a belief, faith, and acceptance...courage seems un-neccessary.

All great men of faith have courage.

One of the things I absolutely marvel at, is the atheistic approach to life. I know a number of atheists and agnostics. Very often atheists are so convinced that there is no afterlife or hereafter that they do everything imaginable to extend their lives. Recently I read where Larry King wants his body suspended in some hope that one day they can find a cure to whatever killed him and bring him back. As soon as I read that, I immediately suspected that King was an atheist. Men of faith do not speak that way. Atheists and agnostics fear death to such an extent that their lives become some compilation of learned behaviors and safety precautions. Even retroactive precautions like suspended animation. Here is the worst part.

They believe that there is no greater power than themselves. Think about that. If you are an atheist, that has to be true does it not? You are the center of the universe. That is scary. It has to be lonely, being an atheist.

What happens when you practice faith, courage, and acceptance? You begin to see a process much larger than your own tiny and lonely existence. You begin to trust in a much larger community. You feel intuitive truth. You begin to believe in a process. It is the cycle of things. There is the planting time, the growing time, the harvest time, and the dying time. The process resets and starts anew. Over and over again and virtually everywhere- we see this. We see this in the daily and seasonal rotation of our planet. We see it in all life forms. We begin to think, maybe I'll just accept and embrace this death process when it comes. Our fears are removed. We have let go. We are going to trust in powers far greater than we are. We are going to believe that somehow a spark of life was delivered here- for some reason that we cannot comprehend. We just know everything is going to be alright. Fear is going to have to burden someone else.

I would not have been ready for this years ago. There is something to be said about consciousness and timing.

I think it was Nietsche who asked why we would fear something that we cannot feel or comprehend anyway. Did we fear being born? Though Nietsche was an atheist, I understand what he was saying even though we have divergent views of what that might entail. He is processing what makes sense to him, I tend to process and envision something a whole lot different.

I hate to call my friend and I fatalists. But we probably are. We are Aristotelian logical fatalists. We believe that we are going to die on some predetermined date. Perhaps we could intervene and change dates, but that is not particularly necessary as the outcome remains the same. Nor would we know whether we had impacted or effected any date change. The difference between our atheistic counterparts and ourselves is that we have embraced the idea of death and accepted it. Perhaps the atheists, despite all of their precautions, don't wield any more control over their deaths than we do. Perhaps what is, is already predetermined according to logical fatalism. The only difference is the level of fear attached to it.

A "Normal Life" and the Last Renaissance

Tonight I had a chance to listen to a young man speak about his life. He reminded me so much of me that it actually sent chills up my spine. The similarities are remarkable.

We had a chance to speak after the meeting. This is what he said as near as I can remember it.

We talked about a "normal" life. I asked him to define "normal." This is what he said. "I want to be peaceful and happy. I want to be involved in a relationship where both parties love themselves before they attempt to love another. I want operating instructions that work so that when I run into problems and things that baffle me in life, I can quickly resolve them without causing anyone or myself any emotional damage. I just want to be happy, like I said."

I was in a state of awe. This guy is me. I didn't say a word to him.

You see, I have a problem. I can't help anyone. Why? Because this is what I would have had to tell him.

Initially, your life must get so miserable, terrible, lonely and depressed, that it forces you to capitulate. If you cannot find that place- you will not be given the motivation to get well. Secondly, you must be unflinchingly honest with yourself, admitting every character flaw that you possess and become willing to work on and eliminate all of them. You must become willing to throw out every belief system that you have acquired. You can no longer behave like a victim or wallow in self pity. Every time you feel emotionally distraught- you are the problem and you must find the solution from within. Very often that is simply acceptance. You must unconditionally attempt to love anyone and everyone- even child sexual predators, murderers. The people you resent the most. You must let people be who they are. And perhaps most importantly...

You must become aware of your false sense of self- ego- and be willing to destroy those pieces of your ego which damage and injure others. 

These are all choices. These were the choices I made in order to become calm and peaceful. Happy. Had I done anything less, the recipe would not have worked. It is an all or nothing proposition. You cannot cling to fear. Or any negative emotions. They are processed and eliminated quickly. The hardest thing I have had to deal with is intermittent bouts of depression. I am aware of it, I process it and eliminate it, and sometimes it comes back. No wonder people people see shrinks, get prescriptions, drink and drug. They want to alter how they feel. They do not have any way of doing that- and certainly nothing as quick and effective as swallowing some Xanax or drinking some whiskey. Or whining to a shrink that nods and enables them to keep on making the same mistakes over and over again.

The problem with the quick and easy way is that it is only temporary. The underlying illness remains. Sometimes forever. Sometimes it kills you.

So how am I going to explain any of that to some guy I just met? How I am going to explain that I have found a healthy way to process all of those emotions, including depression, without sedatives? I have a very normal and happy life. Not perfect, but pretty damn close- sans a depression here or there.

The sad truth is, I can't. If someone had told me that they had- I wouldn't believe them. I'd think they were some deluded and ego driven maniac. This is what I think will happen one day.

There will be another renaissance in this country. People have quit smoking. They are eating healthier, living longer. They are exercising. The last frontier to be conquered will be the one that we are all still clinging to. The mood altering, I want to feel better now mentality, facilitated by mind and mood altering substances happily supplied by six figure doctors, shrinks, and big pharma. Sometimes drug dealers. Big business in the form of beer, wine, and alcohol makers and distributors. There will come a day when people examine the damage that these things cause and they will seek better, healthier ways of processing emotions. There will be a cultural shift and it will take all of the work I have described above. People will begin to alter their moods through positive lifestyle changes and they will begin to process emotions internally and rapidly- arriving at logical conclusions that include not taking things personally. Or not making assumptions, judgments, or conclusions until they have heard every side of the issue. No more contempt prior to investigation. Acceptance when alternatives are non existent.

I believe this conscious shift, the last emotional (and physical) health conscious renaissance will occur one day- just not any day soon. One day we may all be handing our children entirely new operating instructions and tools, teaching them how to behave responsibly and emotionally correct. No booze or drugs. Resolving issues quickly and internally- finding a happy and normal life.

Living In the Unconscious World While Trying To Write For the Conscious Few

Four years ago, in a little coffee shop on Magazine St. in New Orleans, I found magic. I would carry my computer in my backpack and either walk or drive to that coffee shop nearly every day. In the back of that coffee shop I tried to put together a book while sorting out my life. That's how it was for nearly 6 months. I only made it a third of the way through that book before I gave up on the project.

I'd like to tell you why I stopped but I can't. I had to resolve some issues and at that very moment in my life, I did not know how I was going to do that. In the intervening years, I resolved those issues.

If you seek the answers, they will be provided. 

I write on two sites. My popular site gets a few hundred page views a day. This one gets around ten. The truth is, I'm not sure where those ten hits come from.

You want to hear the best part? I'd rather write here than there. The solution to every problem I have ever had in life is right here. Conscious thought was the greatest gift I have been given. I didn't get that gift until I was 47 years old.

The problem is that I still dwell in an ego driven world. I am part of that ego driven world. I blog in that ego driven world where everyone seeks attention, everyone wants to be smart and clever, and where all of the faults of human beings are always on display. And in that unconscious place, I am still part of the problem. Blogging away. Nobody has anointed me the leader of the free world and as such, I am just one of the hoi polloi. One of billions. Hardly a novelty. Worth a few hundred hits a day whether what I write is really good or really bad.

Real emotional freedom is where I come to get conscious. This is where the solution is. This site represents the possibilities if humanity is ever to emotionally evolve out of these ridiculous belief systems that our teachers have passed down through the dark ages. These belief systems which we believe are true. We have to break this cycle of bad information. Really.

Every emotion and solution worth having is right here. Somewhere. For years, I suffered through bouts of depression, guilt for not having accomplished this or that, and anger. I resolved all of those issues. Honestly. And I have written about them and others on this site.

I want to say one last thing to all of those people who believe that they can simply turn their desperate lives over to the care of God and that somehow God will make it all good for you. That premise is ridiculous and preposterous. I say that as a true believer in Christ.

This is not some Deus Ex Machina blog where the answer to every negative emotion or depression is "God out of the box." God will save us. Or God will make it all right. Just pray. I have friends who maintain that those beliefs work for them. I am not here to diminish them but that is a glass of kool-aid that I will never drink. It is too irrational for my newly acquired belief systems and smacks of those frail belief systems that I have found do not work for me. The ones I over hauled right here. Interestingly enough and as a foot note, my most respected Pastor as a child did not believe in the Deus Ex Machina theory either. We are here to learn something.

So I am writing the book. I have resolved my issues. The material I am using comes from this blog, the unpopular one. Because this is the way of the future. The optimism that I have is that one day in the world, people will start to wake up and begin to emotionally evolve. To realize there is a better way to live than the way we've been living.

I hope to keep you posted. All ten of you. *wink

Given the Right Set of Circumstances, Anything Becomes Possible

I saw this quote today and had to clip it.

Along the same lines, Frank Oppenheimer (brother of Robert and creator of the Exploratorium in San Francisco) once said: "Just as present technology had to await the explanations of physics, so one might expect that social invention will follow growing sociological understanding. We are desperately in the need of such invention, for man is still very much at the mercy of man."

That sociological invention exists. The problem is that people enslaved to a false sense of self (ego) can't see it. Very often, the more intelligent you are- the more difficult it is to find.

We live in a world of narrow minds, skeptics, false selves, and ego. Most people think that if they have not personally discovered something- it cannot or does not exist. And yet they yearn for something better. They yearn for something that they cannot find because they have not been given the gift of desperation. They cling to those old faulty beliefs that the planet gave them. The ones that don't work.

Instead they seek short term solutions that pay off now, distractions, emotional pain killers. That's reality as they see it. The only viable emotional solution currently available to more than half of our society either comes in a can, a bottle, a capsule or a pill. Maybe a joint. Or they whine and act like victims- find some enablers to commiserate with. That's not acceptance- that's avoidance.

I became comfortable with the world and everyone in it- right here on these pages. This was my journey. Calm, serene, day after day- years worth. It's not all perfect. But bouts of depression or negative emotions are processed quickly and dispelled. I am comfortable in my skin- and the journey is not impossible. But the path is only available to those who refuse to practice contempt prior to investigation. Very often I find that everyone wants to be a teacher rather than a student.

In my desperate days, I was a student. I was willing to find anything that would help me resolve all of the issues in my mind. Isolation, fear, rejection, anger, loneliness, financial insecurity. I found a solution for all of those things. That solution would never have become available to me until I accepted the role of student. To this day, I consider that my primary role.

I am not kidding when I say this. I have often thought that if Christ were ever to return to this planet, the end result would not be much different. His credibility would be attacked. He would be castigated, ridiculed, and ignored. Perhaps he would be spared some tortured death here, but I cannot say how he would fare in other places. Emotional evolution at a glacial pace.

Odd, that something so simple has always been available, tangible. Yours to find given the right set of circumstances.

My First Instinct Is Usually Wrong

As I was arriving at the conclusion of my first year of consciousness, I became aware of something that made a great deal of sense.

Imagine being indoctrinated with all of the faulty belief systems of our planet and accepting them as true. For example, when somebody cheats on us- very often we feel diminished. We are less than. We are hurt. We become angry, depressed. We are isolated and alone. Are all of these feelings common? Yes of course they are. But please allow me to ask another question.

Are those feelings mandatory or even necessary? We think that they are but in reality that is an illusion, an opinion. A belief that we were taught was true. We have seen it in others who were similarly instructed. It is hardly a statement of fact although the planet would have us believe it is so. We have always had a choice even when "conventional" wisdom says that we don't. Sometimes we have to tell conventional wisdom to take a hike. And that is one of the healthiest things I have ever learned.

If we have been indoctrinated with a bunch of faulty belief systems- doesn't it stand to reason that very often our first instinct is wrong? Doesn't it stand to reason that we judge others on their actions, and yet we give ourselves the luxury of judging ourselves on our intentions? When we react to someone without knowing their true intentions, could we possibly be wrong? When somebody does something that we have been taught should diminish us- do we not in fact feel diminished? Sometimes hurt and angry? In fact, don't we feel all of those negative emotions long before we know the intentions of others?

Throughout this blog, I have talked about the importance of letting people live their lives and absolutely refusing to take anything they do or say personally. Under any circumstances. That is absolutely mandatory. This is something I practice every day. I practice this everyday because of one steadfast and universal truth that will never change.

I simply cannot understand what motivates anybody to do anything at any given time. Most of the time behavior is somewhat predictable. Sometimes it is not. I cannot assume under any circumstances that I know what has prompted someone to behave a certain way. This is what I know for sure. People are living their lives. They are making decisions and choices based on a set of internal controls, truths, and experiences that they will never be able to fully identify or communicate to me. I must simply accept that they are making the best decisions that they can within their capacity. And sometimes as they make these decisions, others diminish or anger me. What do I do?

In the past, I would simply react in a way that the planet or my teachers had taught me was acceptable. That old faulty belief system. And when I reacted the same old way, I kept getting the same miserable results. Conflict, one ups man ship, hostile remarks. Sometimes physical assaults. All of these reactions are choices. They were taught to us- given to us as beliefs. They are very hard to break free of. But that is precisely why we are here. We are trying to shed these beliefs that do not work. Beliefs that keep us emotional hostages.

Today, I am conscious and aware. When somebody or something is bothering me- I am the problem. I try to identify what is wrong with me. I can identify what is wrong with me. I never have to make an assumption about that. I understand that my first reaction toward others is almost always wrong. I am assuming I know what motivates them. That is a faulty belief.

We don't have to be perfect and process all of this in a nanosecond. Sometimes, we can cure all of this by not acting at all. Very often we do have the luxury of time if we choose to exercise it. By allowing people to be who they are, which includes saying off color and poorly thought out things from time to time, we show patience and tolerance. We do not make assumptions or hasty judgments. By simply accepting that our first instincts are usually wrong, we can avoid many of the pitfalls that cause us emotional distress. We are not required to keep selecting the same choices that "conventional" wisdom would have us select. That is the thinking that perpetuates the faulty belief systems of the planet.

The Greatest Barrier To Eliminating Depression May Be The Acquired Idea That You Are Unique

It might be the biggest learning disability ever bestowed on a loved one.

You are unique and wonderful. An opinion, a myth, born out of love that we tell our children. Why shouldn't we say that? Because the false sense of self, the ego, attaches itself to that statement. It wants to believe that this is true. And so it does. Perhaps forever.

There is a huge problem with that. Generally speaking and with respect to timing, every human life has great moments of desperation, loneliness, fear, loss, and bouts of depression. How is an individual going to respond to those types of adversities- particularly if they have bought into the concept that they are unique?

What happens to them if they believe nothing will really work for them, that there is no solution, because what they are going through is far worse than what anyone can imagine because they are unique? Of course they are wrong- but because they have bought into the premise that they are unique or special- they do not believe that solutions exist for them.

In later life, this false sense of uniqueness might possibly be the greatest barrier to emotional freedom and eliminating depression and hopelessness. Why? Because you may very well believe that you are unique. As a result of that foolishness, many of us, if not all of us, begin to practice contempt prior to investigation. We are convinced nothing will work. There is no tangible solution for our problems. It doesn't exist.

Contempt prior to investigation can work through a couple of different conduits or mind sets. One route is the belief that I am unique and special- there is no solution for what I am dealing with. Therefore other people cannot possibly understand how I feel nor can they help me. Very often this false sense of self is coupled with another false sense of self... I am very intelligent and if there was a solution I would have been told what it is or discovered it by now. When these two types of mindsets are at work, there is very little chance of getting through to someone in emotional distress. They are blocked from an external solution quite simply because of a false sense of self that says I am unique and intelligent. Your solution will not work for me.

I am focused almost completely on depression here.

The standard solution today for people who cannot break free of that false sense of self...is to run to the doctors office and get some medication which will cure how I feel. Alter my state of consciousness. Millions upon millions of people do that. Millions more self medicate with alcohol and pot. In fact, I believe the majority of our culture does this.

It's not a solution, is it?

I have met many people who simply have such severe states of depression that medications are really the only way they can function at the levels that they do. However, I have met hundreds of people who quite simply do not need medication. They are not unique, they are not special, yet because they are slaves to this false sense of self that practices contempt prior to investigation- they believe drugs are the only way to deal with their problems. In a world that stands to profit from that type of thinking- the producers have no incentive to help. They want you to believe that their product is the only solution.  I exited that world four years ago. I found a healthy spiritual solution.

One of the first things I did was eliminate this ridiculous notion that somehow I was unique. That did not come about quickly. My ego desperately wanted to cling to that falsehood. Doesn't everyone think they are unique and special? Aren't we all told that? Perhaps. Does that make it true?

The next thing I did was eliminate this false idea that I was intelligent and far superior to other people who had found the solution I was seeking.

Once I had eliminated those two faulty belief systems I was on my way. I became willing and found  a healthy way to process and eliminate depression without mind altering substances and without wandering around numb for days or weeks at a time. I simply do not believe that I would have been able to accomplish and rid myself of depression had I allowed my ego to cling to the ridiculous belief that I was unique, special, or too intelligent to receive a solution.

There isn't an anti-depressant manufacturing drug company operating within our culture that wants to lose their customer base.

Are We Here To Change The World or Are We Here To Let the World Change Us?

Tolle said that ego could never be removed. That it simply changes form. I am living proof of that.

The reason I like writing here is because this blog is the solution for unconsciousness. I seek awareness here. Why do I have the feelings I do and if they are negative feelings- can I process them quickly and stay emotionally healthy?

Yes.

What is it about human ego, particularly grossly inflated egos, that causes what otherwise might be very intelligent people- into becoming emotionally self absorbed and unconscious people? Very often, it may be the absence of intrapersonal intelligence.





I know quite a few people who possess large degrees of the other types of intelligence- but possess little or no intrapersonal intelligence. They feel emotions but they cannot readily identify or process them. They have no  means to really dispose of those feelings. Having no capacity for that, they don't understand those of us who do.

In other words, how can a human being that has been taught the planetary and universal rule that "cheating" (as it applies to intimate relationships) is bad- accept people in their lives who cheat on them? And be ok with it? Who does that? Isn't everyone required to feel the pain and hurt?

The answer to that is no. There is no requirement to feel bad when someone cheats on us. Even though our teachers have taught us that this is normal. There are people who will never understand this. They have made an agreement. A faulty agreement that says when someone cheats on us- we are supposed to take that personally. We have been betrayed. And that worthless agreement we have made will most certainly doom us to some future emotional prison. I watched my very own mother dwell in that prison for years. In fact, I am not sure she has escaped from Alcatraz yet. And although my mother is sufficiently intelligent in a number of areas, I do not believe my mother is capable of the intrapersonal intelligence that it takes to escape all of those bad feelings that somehow my father's actions had something to do with her. She will never process those feelings in any kind of healthy way.

Ego, this false sense of self that we all have, is the single biggest barrier there is to happiness. Ego is successful in blocking happiness because it operates in the darkness. The subconscious. Mostly, we are not aware of it. It tells us that we must pretend to be extremely intelligent, flashy, successful, better than and certainly not less than...others. We must project whatever false opinion we have of ourselves onto the people around us. They in turn project their false sense of selves onto us.

And that is why Vonnegut says "We are who we pretend to be." Or Shakespeare's, "All the worlds a stage and the men and women- merely players." Clearly both of those men identified that false sense of self that humans possess. They were aware of it- what did they do about it? Anything?

I think they have identified nine different types of intelligences. I don't possess enough of four them to even decorate my house or pass a math class without an army of tutors. I understand all of that now and I am ok with it. For the first time in my life, I am completely comfortable in my own skin. I don't have to be faster, smarter, wiser, richer, than you. In fact, all I want to be is happy. And my happiness does not require me to be better than anyone or possess a bunch of worthless crap. Tolle was right. My ego has changed. From a competitive, nasty, I am better than you... false sense of self...to an ego that has morphed into something that just wants to be happy.

I used to think I was here to change the world, now I realize I had it all backwards.