Search This Blog

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Living In the Unconscious World While Trying To Write For the Conscious Few

Four years ago, in a little coffee shop on Magazine St. in New Orleans, I found magic. I would carry my computer in my backpack and either walk or drive to that coffee shop nearly every day. In the back of that coffee shop I tried to put together a book while sorting out my life. That's how it was for nearly 6 months. I only made it a third of the way through that book before I gave up on the project.

I'd like to tell you why I stopped but I can't. I had to resolve some issues and at that very moment in my life, I did not know how I was going to do that. In the intervening years, I resolved those issues.

If you seek the answers, they will be provided. 

I write on two sites. My popular site gets a few hundred page views a day. This one gets around ten. The truth is, I'm not sure where those ten hits come from.

You want to hear the best part? I'd rather write here than there. The solution to every problem I have ever had in life is right here. Conscious thought was the greatest gift I have been given. I didn't get that gift until I was 47 years old.

The problem is that I still dwell in an ego driven world. I am part of that ego driven world. I blog in that ego driven world where everyone seeks attention, everyone wants to be smart and clever, and where all of the faults of human beings are always on display. And in that unconscious place, I am still part of the problem. Blogging away. Nobody has anointed me the leader of the free world and as such, I am just one of the hoi polloi. One of billions. Hardly a novelty. Worth a few hundred hits a day whether what I write is really good or really bad.

Real emotional freedom is where I come to get conscious. This is where the solution is. This site represents the possibilities if humanity is ever to emotionally evolve out of these ridiculous belief systems that our teachers have passed down through the dark ages. These belief systems which we believe are true. We have to break this cycle of bad information. Really.

Every emotion and solution worth having is right here. Somewhere. For years, I suffered through bouts of depression, guilt for not having accomplished this or that, and anger. I resolved all of those issues. Honestly. And I have written about them and others on this site.

I want to say one last thing to all of those people who believe that they can simply turn their desperate lives over to the care of God and that somehow God will make it all good for you. That premise is ridiculous and preposterous. I say that as a true believer in Christ.

This is not some Deus Ex Machina blog where the answer to every negative emotion or depression is "God out of the box." God will save us. Or God will make it all right. Just pray. I have friends who maintain that those beliefs work for them. I am not here to diminish them but that is a glass of kool-aid that I will never drink. It is too irrational for my newly acquired belief systems and smacks of those frail belief systems that I have found do not work for me. The ones I over hauled right here. Interestingly enough and as a foot note, my most respected Pastor as a child did not believe in the Deus Ex Machina theory either. We are here to learn something.

So I am writing the book. I have resolved my issues. The material I am using comes from this blog, the unpopular one. Because this is the way of the future. The optimism that I have is that one day in the world, people will start to wake up and begin to emotionally evolve. To realize there is a better way to live than the way we've been living.

I hope to keep you posted. All ten of you. *wink


  1. This is how I feel. I see the world clearly after having been in a trance until I was in my late 40's. I did not know I was in a trance, but I do now. And now that I am conscious, it's difficult to engage with a world mostly asleep. I get drawn into the pettiness and then catch myself and then get angry that I slip back so easily. I try to be compassionate about my slip ups, though. Almost 50 years of being one way and it is next to impossible not to fall effortlessly back into that way of thinking, of being. But as I said to my husband last night, I cannot be brainwashed anymore. I see everything clearly. And I remain hopeful because I know the world depends on at least some of us building positive energies to wipe out all the negativity. On my best days, I am loving and blissfully unafraid and I try to call myself back to those moments because that's where I find peace.

  2. Wow, I could have written that comment myself.

    It is impossible not to fall back into the unconscious world from time to time. A simple lapse and it happens. The beautiful thing is that we immediately recognize it- that is not to say we are happy about it- simply conscious. I have found over time that this gets better.

    The other day, I had a guy stumble into traffic on a busy 5 lane street, flailing his arms, yelling and blocking me. After a heated exchange- I had that emotional hang over feeling. Sometimes I wonder if these people are sent here to test me. If so, I failed that quiz. Thanks for stopping by...that was a wonderful comment. Perfect.