It might be the biggest learning disability ever bestowed on a loved one.
You are unique and wonderful. An opinion, a myth, born out of love that we tell our children. Why shouldn't we say that? Because the false sense of self, the ego, attaches itself to that statement. It wants to believe that this is true. And so it does. Perhaps forever.
There is a huge problem with that. Generally speaking and with respect to timing, every human life has great moments of desperation, loneliness, fear, loss, and bouts of depression. How is an individual going to respond to those types of adversities- particularly if they have bought into the concept that they are unique?
What happens to them if they believe nothing will really work for them, that there is no solution, because what they are going through is far worse than what anyone can imagine because they are unique? Of course they are wrong- but because they have bought into the premise that they are unique or special- they do not believe that solutions exist for them.
In later life, this false sense of uniqueness might possibly be the greatest barrier to emotional freedom and eliminating depression and hopelessness. Why? Because you may very well believe that you are unique. As a result of that foolishness, many of us, if not all of us, begin to practice contempt prior to investigation. We are convinced nothing will work. There is no tangible solution for our problems. It doesn't exist.
Contempt prior to investigation can work through a couple of different conduits or mind sets. One route is the belief that I am unique and special- there is no solution for what I am dealing with. Therefore other people cannot possibly understand how I feel nor can they help me. Very often this false sense of self is coupled with another false sense of self... I am very intelligent and if there was a solution I would have been told what it is or discovered it by now. When these two types of mindsets are at work, there is very little chance of getting through to someone in emotional distress. They are blocked from an external solution quite simply because of a false sense of self that says I am unique and intelligent. Your solution will not work for me.
I am focused almost completely on depression here.
The standard solution today for people who cannot break free of that false sense of self...is to run to the doctors office and get some medication which will cure how I feel. Alter my state of consciousness. Millions upon millions of people do that. Millions more self medicate with alcohol and pot. In fact, I believe the majority of our culture does this.
It's not a solution, is it?
I have met many people who simply have such severe states of depression that medications are really the only way they can function at the levels that they do. However, I have met hundreds of people who quite simply do not need medication. They are not unique, they are not special, yet because they are slaves to this false sense of self that practices contempt prior to investigation- they believe drugs are the only way to deal with their problems. In a world that stands to profit from that type of thinking- the producers have no incentive to help. They want you to believe that their product is the only solution. I exited that world four years ago. I found a healthy spiritual solution.
One of the first things I did was eliminate this ridiculous notion that somehow I was unique. That did not come about quickly. My ego desperately wanted to cling to that falsehood. Doesn't everyone think they are unique and special? Aren't we all told that? Perhaps. Does that make it true?
The next thing I did was eliminate this false idea that I was intelligent and far superior to other people who had found the solution I was seeking.
Once I had eliminated those two faulty belief systems I was on my way. I became willing and found a healthy way to process and eliminate depression without mind altering substances and without wandering around numb for days or weeks at a time. I simply do not believe that I would have been able to accomplish and rid myself of depression had I allowed my ego to cling to the ridiculous belief that I was unique, special, or too intelligent to receive a solution.
There isn't an anti-depressant manufacturing drug company operating within our culture that wants to lose their customer base.