If you have arrived here, dazed and utterly confused, you are in perfect shape. You are practicing the "Four Agreements", you have identified that false sense of self- your ego-and you are aware of it and it's negative impacts. You are trying to become a better person.
Welcome. As long as you draw breath-you can improve yourself and your relationships. There is no finish line. Let's see if we can figure out who we want to be.
Let's start with just seven things. The seven deadly sins. We don't particularly care for the religious attachment but it's awfully hard to deny their existence. We witness them everyday. They are lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride. Of the seven, perhaps the most damaging and all pervasive is pride. Let's take a look at pride.
Pride could be described as self centered-ness, self absorption, and self love. Narcissism. It is perhaps, the greatest symptom of the ego. Self will. Pride is one of those confusing terms. It actually has a dual meaning-the other of which is steeped in virtue. Such as, "he takes great pride in his work and appearance." For the sake of emotional freedom we are going to focus on pride as self centered-ness and self will.
Pride, or love of the self, prevents us from engaging in and loving anyone else. We are preoccupied with taking care of our own needs. We are self indulgent to the extent that we rarely listen or care about others. We almost always take care of our needs to the exclusion of all else. Since proud people believe that they always come first, they may never view anything wrong with their behavior. In fact, many of them actually confuse intelligence with self will. Anything is intelligent as long as there is something in it for them. If they can achieve some benefit then they see nothing wrong with it. Conversely, they view others who do not possess the same levels of pride as weak or unintelligent. They lack respect and show disdain. In many cases, they simply can't utter an apology or admit fault. Very often, when the prideful crash and burn, there are very few people willing to help them.
The opposite of pride is humility. Have you ever heard anyone ever say, "Gosh that guy is so humble that he makes me sick?" Probably not. Humility is an increasingly scarce commodity. For some, we wonder if they have ever heard of the word.
So seeking to be humble attracts love in others but pride has the opposite effect. It's not hard to see which has value to us and which does not. A big part of your new operating system should probably include a big dose of humility unless you already have that covered.
We systematically look at those seven deadly sins. We focus on the ones that plague us and we seek to remove them through a conscientious plan that we are developing. We add those to our "Four Agreements" plan and maintain a vigilant watch over our egos. Our daily meditation and plan for the day enlarges in scope-reminding ourselves each day to recognize, adhere to, and refuse to indulge in those seven deadly sins.