Tolle said that ego could never be removed. That it simply changes form. I am living proof of that.
The reason I like writing here is because this blog is the solution for unconsciousness. I seek awareness here. Why do I have the feelings I do and if they are negative feelings- can I process them quickly and stay emotionally healthy?
Yes.
What is it about human ego, particularly grossly inflated egos, that causes what otherwise might be very intelligent people- into becoming emotionally self absorbed and unconscious people? Very often, it may be the absence of intrapersonal intelligence.
I know quite a few people who possess large degrees of the other types of intelligence- but possess little or no intrapersonal intelligence. They feel emotions but they cannot readily identify or process them. They have no means to really dispose of those feelings. Having no capacity for that, they don't understand those of us who do.
In other words, how can a human being that has been taught the planetary and universal rule that "cheating" (as it applies to intimate relationships) is bad- accept people in their lives who cheat on them? And be ok with it? Who does that? Isn't everyone required to feel the pain and hurt?
The answer to that is no. There is no requirement to feel bad when someone cheats on us. Even though our teachers have taught us that this is normal. There are people who will never understand this. They have made an agreement. A faulty agreement that says when someone cheats on us- we are supposed to take that personally. We have been betrayed. And that worthless agreement we have made will most certainly doom us to some future emotional prison. I watched my very own mother dwell in that prison for years. In fact, I am not sure she has escaped from Alcatraz yet. And although my mother is sufficiently intelligent in a number of areas, I do not believe my mother is capable of the intrapersonal intelligence that it takes to escape all of those bad feelings that somehow my father's actions had something to do with her. She will never process those feelings in any kind of healthy way.
Ego, this false sense of self that we all have, is the single biggest barrier there is to happiness. Ego is successful in blocking happiness because it operates in the darkness. The subconscious. Mostly, we are not aware of it. It tells us that we must pretend to be extremely intelligent, flashy, successful, better than and certainly not less than...others. We must project whatever false opinion we have of ourselves onto the people around us. They in turn project their false sense of selves onto us.
And that is why Vonnegut says "We are who we pretend to be." Or Shakespeare's, "All the worlds a stage and the men and women- merely players." Clearly both of those men identified that false sense of self that humans possess. They were aware of it- what did they do about it? Anything?
I think they have identified nine different types of intelligences. I don't possess enough of four them to even decorate my house or pass a math class without an army of tutors. I understand all of that now and I am ok with it. For the first time in my life, I am completely comfortable in my own skin. I don't have to be faster, smarter, wiser, richer, than you. In fact, all I want to be is happy. And my happiness does not require me to be better than anyone or possess a bunch of worthless crap. Tolle was right. My ego has changed. From a competitive, nasty, I am better than you... false sense of self...to an ego that has morphed into something that just wants to be happy.
I used to think I was here to change the world, now I realize I had it all backwards.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
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