Was Jesus Real?

This is not a religious piece. Please don't misinterpret it. This is a historical piece. You will not read this anywhere else. At least I haven't. This is my belief. You are free to accept it or reject it. I offer it only as a belief system that I have recently acquired based on new information and how that came to be.

For years, I have struggled with religion. As a kid it bored me and the subjectivity of religion is confusing. As a young adult, I began to question the existence of God. I simply couldn't escape the concept that God was conveniently fear based and most likely invented by man in some desperate need to come to terms with our greatest fear and try to control it, death.

So as I wandered through the evidence for evolution, I became agnostic. I accepted the belief that we had just made it all up. Try as I might, I read many books available on the subject-both for and against-the existence of God. My beliefs were unresolved. I then turned my attention to tangible evidence to try to prove the existence of God. Why didn't that evidence exist? Where was this Arc of the Covenant, the Ten Commandments, the Holy Grail, the Shroud of Turin? I talked to Catholic Priests and Christian ministers. Devoutly religious people. They didn't help. I was always amazed at the intuitive belief systems of devoutly religious people. How had they acquired their beliefs and why had I been left behind?

So all of my life I have spent searching for the answer to the greatest mystery of all. A few days ago, I found it.

It had always been there. That tangible piece of evidence I could never find, I found. It came as the result of a rational concept or belief I had been exploring.

I have never spoken to anyone that believed unconditional love was possible. This is where it all began. I realized that unconditional love conquers everything. I also realized that whether you believe in unconditional love or not, is simply an opinion. Opinions and thus beliefs are fallible. That is what we have been discussing on this blog. Unconditional love conquers fear and control, it conquers anger, hate, and war. Unconditional love, a respect for all human life, is possible because I can conceive it and dream it. Can I achieve it? I don't know but a few humans have come mighty close.

We practice unconditional hate. That is certainly possible. Think about those planes on 09/11/2001 flying into buildings. So if unconditional hate is possible, why then is unconditional love not possible?

In Eckhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth", Tolle makes an astounding statement. He stated that Jesus, as he was dying on the cross uttered, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." I had heard and been taught this as a child. But as Tolle described it, he said that only a man who was completely aware of the false beliefs and the false sense of self that humans possess could have uttered such a thing.

Tolle does not elaborate on Jesus' statement other than to say that from his perspective, Jesus' statement was entirely correct. It was uttered by a man that was completely aware-who understood that human beings were held hostage to fear and control, a false sense of self and ego, and that they simply did not recognize this. Indeed the Jews themselves did not believe in Christ. Completely held captive to their opinions that Jesus would come and rid the earth of their enemies. Their collective and false belief system.

I remember a statement that the great Albert Einstein made once. He believed that one day science and religion would converge and one day tend to prove each other rather than be at odds with each other.

Was Tolle's science, the science of the human mind and ego, that false sense of self driven by fear and thus control, the science Einstein spoke of?

Here then is the undeniable evidence. If Jesus' was conscious and aware of this, he understood his presence on earth made men fearful particularly the rulers of the day; he understood that they would exercise control to rid themselves of that of which they feared. A Christ that had no title, was no annointed King, who threatened to disrupt their well established power, control, and credibility. He was thus sentenced to death.

And as he lay dying on that cross, he uttered a statement that Tolle accepted as true. A statement of unconditional love and understanding, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."

No human being could have uttered such a thing. A statement of unconditional love for the men that had put him to death. A statement from a man who had committed no crime. A statement from a man that was completely aware of the false sense of self and ego, of fear, that rules the inevitable failings of men. Thus he understood that he could not control the outcome and he accepted his fate. Most importantly, he did not fear that fate like men.

That single statement was completely rational and truthful according to Tolle. For me it was inescapable and undeniable. In a world ruled by fear and ego, here was a statement uttered 2000 years ago by a man, the Son of God, that no mortal could have recognized or uttered. It had to be uttered by the only thing that could have uttered it. God in the form of Jesus.

What proliferated thereafter, in the form of writing and books and religion is irrelevant. It is all conceived and manipulated by fearful and unconscious, mistake prone, human beings. Translated incorrectly and manipulated by man to promote his brand of fear and control.

I made this discovery a few days ago. It was without question for me-proof positive-that Jesus was real and clearly the son of God. God understands unconditional love while no man, although a few have come close, does understand this. I don't need a tangible piece of evidence in the form of the Arc of the Covenant, a Holy Grail, or divine intervention although that may have been what happened here.

I always had the evidence, I learned it years ago. Tolle revealed a statement and then interpreted it for me. Einstein may have corroborated it. A completely truthful and tangible statement of unconditional love uttered by the only being capable of doing so. A man that understood this at a time when nobody else understood it.

Perhaps the real point that day was unconditional love for all of mankind. That was the word of God.

Essay 8. Fear and Control

We cannot understate the role of fear and control. It is at the heart of virtually everything done on this planet. It is so prevalent that individuals will be subjected to it several times each day directly and many more times indirectly. Fear strikes at the very heart of everything we do. It is unrelenting and stifling. It becomes part of each individuals ego and they form collective egos or beliefs. They impose them on each other.

There is good news. There is a cure.

Let's return to Plato's cave for a moment. We accept that individuals are "domesticated" and taught differing beliefs by their instructors. It simply stands to reason that people would acquire differing fears which are planted and firmly rooted in them. Individuals do not make a habit of disclosing fear because they actually fear that their fears are unfounded and they will be criticized! People do not wander about proclaiming from the rooftops that "Here I am-a fearful human being!" Nor do they go out on dates and say, "sweet heart, I am absolutely afraid of abandonment and if we fall in love and then break up, I am going to stalk you and torture you for years."

Often, I gave this piece of advice. If a daughter dislikes or hates her father, "run for the hills." Why? Because I had a belief system, very often true but not infallible, that if a daughter disliked her father she would be fearful of men. Because she fears men, very often that daughter would be controlling and when you did not meet her expectations, all hell would break loose.

How often was that correct? More than I care to mention. However, that blanket rule was not infallible and sometimes wrong. The blanket application of the belief was illusory.

The point is, is that in Plato's cave, as prisoners we all learned and acquired beliefs and thus fears. They are uniquely individual and manifest themselves as things we vow to ourselves we will never repeat or disclose. We then impose them on others.

We simply cannot identify the vast array of the fears in someone else. The vast majority of people aren't even conscious enough to recognize them nor do they communicate them. They just run around trying to impose their fears and thus control on everybody around them. Refusing to submit to demands for control lands you with the consequences. Whether that's getting your ass chewed, getting fired, or landing in jail.

This occurs daily. At work, their is always someone who is fearful. Of not being smart enough. Of failing to do the right thing. Some fear an inability to scale a ladder of success. Some fear that if they do not separate themselves, distinguish themselves, they will not be promotable or they will be denied the earnings to buy that new house or BMW. Completely hostage to these fears, they make others look bad, diminish them, "hurt" them, engage in gossip, tattling, or any number of insane manifestations.

Every law and every commandment is rooted in fear and control. Think about it. I don't care whether you are talking about the death penalty, arson, drug laws, or the speed limit. The ten commandments are also rooted in fear. Whether it is lying or coveting your neighbors wife. If we fear it, we will try to control it. Our brand of control.

On a personal level, fear and control are at the heart of all of your relationships. If you or a loved one fear something, you will try to control it.

We should pause and reflect on this. Many laws and perhaps the ten commandments may be designed to protect us and provide a frame work for living good lives. Some fears have enabled us to survive. Fear has a very real and positive role in our lives. In some instances, fear is very useful.

As we recognize fears, we begin to separate useful fears from completely irrational fear. Irrational fear and thus control has lead to lynch mobs, workplace violence, and war. Some fears like walking through a bad neighborhood with warring gangs, may be well founded and useful.

The goal of this essay is simply to make you aware of all of the fear around you. Once you recognize that you are fearful and controlling-and that others are too-you can begin to analyze what is rational and what is not.

There is simply no way of understanding every human being well enough to get their list of fears. The good news is-is that we don't have to.

We recognize that people are ruled by fear. We accept some of their fears and we reject some. But we always understand them as true for those that believe them to be. Our loved ones have acquired belief systems which we respect for no other reason than we simply love them unconditionally. We agree to those terms.

Unconditional love is the cure I spoke of. In my introduction, I speak of this.

If you can dream it, you can do it. If fear kills us, unconditional love saves us. You are about to read the most profound discovery that I have ever made. It occurred only a few days ago.

It set all of my irrational fear on it's ear and the story you are about to read encapsulates fear and control, unconditional love, and it inherently proves (for me) the existence of a higher power. By all my measures, it is the greatest truth ever told.

A Father's Pain

The story I'm about to tell you is true. It took 20 years to live and about ten or fifteen minutes to retell. It was one of the most gut wrenching and agonizing things I have ever listened to. I am going to try to explain it here and tell you in advance that it has a happy ending. For me, it was like God himself whacked me over the head with a two by four. If that in fact happened, my thanks go out to him or her, whatever the case might be.

In late 2007, I was undergoing a vast paradigm shift and just beginning to question my own flawed belief systems. I was sober, rational, and aware. Present and available in every possible sense of those two words. I had been a police officer all of my life. I had met a man that had been a "criminal" all of his life. I remember him well, his identity is not important but his story is too important to be forgotten. Our paths crossed in New Orleans.

Allen had grown up in a terribly dysfunctional and alcoholic home. He had watched his parents drink, drug, cheat on each other, argue, and fight. As a child he was hostage to this madness and powerless to intervene or stop it. He acquired belief systems that allowed him to survive. Merely survive. By his late teens he was fully engaged in all of the madness that he had watched his parents engage in. That was his reality. He accepted that as true. As he grew into a young man like most drug addicts, he began to sell dope and sleep with women who also used alcohol and dope to escape their realities. He was an alcoholic. To that end one of those women Allen saw became pregnant. It does not take much to bring a life into the world and so it was.

Allen continued to drink and drug with the mother of his child, to sleep with other women, and she in turn slept with other men. They argued and fought verbally and physically. They dealt and used dope in front of their son-enmeshing him in all of the dysfunction that was their lives. They abandoned that son emotionally, physically, and spiritually while engaged in the beliefs that this was simply how you lived. Justifying their existence as normal, plagued with issues of self esteem, this then was their belief systems. They were never able to recognize that collective ego nor did they have the tools or capacity to stop.

Allen's son became a drug addict and alcoholic as well. That is what he learned. Allen at some point, had enough and he found a bottom or he picked one. He got sober and aware. He became conscious and rational. He began sifting through the wreckage of his life. He began to accept the bad beliefs he received as a child and he forgave his parents as ill equipped. He began to accept responsibility for his own life and what he had done to his son. He had been sober a few years when his son landed in jail.

Allen's son, in a drug and alcohol crazed robbery, had entered the business he had just been fired from. Armed with a gun he had attempted to rob his previous employer, shooting up the place but thankfully not injuring or killing anyone. Clearly it was the only small victory for a staff of people traumatized by the whole episode. Allen's son was arrested the following day and had been sitting in jail for nearly a year. His sentencing in that neighboring state would occur in a couple of weeks. The prosecution had recommended 25 years.

As Allen told this story he began to cry. Sober now, he fully realized what he had done to his son during all of those years of drinking and drugging and I cannot fully capture the agony and despair in his voice. It was absolutely gut wrenching.

There was one old cop listening that night. A cop that had rigorously enforced the law and sought to put every "criminal" behind bars. A cop that aligned his belief system only for the sake of victims. A cop that believed criminals should be shown no mercy, a cop that didn't really understand why people behaved the way they did. Nor did he ever bother thinking about it. It would have been a tremendous loss had that cop never heard that story. Because in that instant, I realized that Allen's son was also a victim. An alcoholic and drug addict completely self absorbed by a belief system and ego laced with booze and drugs that said that this is acceptable behavior and he robbed that store. I realized in that moment there was no such thing as a "criminal." These were real people rather than some nameless and faceless booking number. There were simply millions of people that we label and judge as such. As I pondered all of this, I acquired a belief that virtually nobody is born with a bad heart. That these people are all created as a result of fear, bad belief systems, and a warped ego that really didn't know right from wrong.

In the days that followed I couldn't get Allen or his son out of my mind. I couldn't escape the truth that I had never really bothered to understand people like Allen's son. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism that allowed me to perform my job without involving me emotionally. Perhaps that allowed me to be more effective. I couldn't help but replay all of the "criminals" I had arrested and think about them. The more I did this, the more the truth became inescapable. It was as though I had been robbed of my innocence and I suddenly realized that I would never see people the same way again. I am grateful for that.

Perhaps we don't really understand people like Allen's son and we don't really want to. All we have seen is shadows. All we see is some drug crazed kid shooting up a joint and we focus all of our attention on that brief act. But inside that kid was a 20 year old piece of videotape we would never have wanted to see. To see it might cause empathy or distraction. We would become fully exposed, lose our innocence, perhaps our sense of justice. See a little boy, by himself, watching his parents fight. Scared and alone. People would call us weak or liberal-label us. We fear for ourselves. It is simpler not to know any of that and there is always someone to tell us it's not relevant to the criminal act and so we hide from it rather than get judged as sympathetic or insensitive to the victims we represent.

About a week later, I saw Allen. He was going to his son's sentencing. I asked him what he was going to do. He said that he was going to get on that witness stand and tell the world what a horrible drug dealing and miserable father he had been. How he had imprinted his child with the belief systems he had employed and what he had done to his son. That he had poorly equipped his son. He did that. He told his whole story.

The truth set Allen free. After 20 years, he finally stood up for his son. And you know what, that Judge set his son free. Gave him probation and released him to the custody of his father. I don't know if there were any angry robbery victims in the court room that day. Instead of taking 25 years of his life, that judge gave a wounded kid back his life. The judge gave a wounded father back his life also. Man, what a happy beginning. I hope they write a happy ending.

Essay 7. Rendering Negative Judgments

I absolutely love this topic. Of the thousands of people I have met and of the thousands of books and articles, opinions, editorials, and blogs I have consumed, I came to believe that this is an absolute epidemic. Of all those thousands of people and authored writings, I have only seen a handful-perhaps, five or six, who absolutely refused to judge others. Many others, nearly all authors, did not render enough information to assess. Those shadows again.

And as I listened to people and read those things what was I doing? Correct! Judging them.

We can have fun with this topic. In my essay, "Confessions of a Recovering Ego Maniac" I identified groups of people, clinging to their beliefs and egos, in such a way that it was humorous. It is only humorous because we have a collective belief that those stereotypes exist and we accept that. That essay was generated and placed on a competitive writing site wherein people are asked to judge it's value. It has remained at the top of it's category since I first penciled it out.

People are constantly judging and evaluating everything they collect through their five senses and rendering judgments. Good judgment is the litmus test for survival, common sense, and growth. Because good judgment is very valuable we accept it as rational although it is clearly subjective and belief system driven. Good judgment does not fit our criteria of a bad belief system and in fact we are here trying to improve our own.

Let me give you an example of a belief system or perhaps just an insight into a belief system. I once knew a man who habitually carried large amounts of cash in excess of five thousand dollars. He was an older gentleman and we became good friends. One day, I asked him why it was that he carried all that money, all the time. His explanation made perfect sense to me but only because he offered it to me. He said that he had grown up in the great depression. He had lost money as a result of bank failures. The economy thereafter rendered him poor and at the mercy of strangers. He said that he vowed if he ever were to obtain money again, that he would not trust all of his wealth to the safekeeping of banks. In fact he carried large amounts of cash and had some stowed away in safekeeping in the event that a similar situation ever occurred. Thus he developed a belief system as a result of real loss and insecurity. Clearly it was fear driven but that fear was very real to him and in fact he had lived through it. I had not.

His carrying all that dough was a shadow to me, I did not understand it until I did.

What we should focus on here is the very real and negative consequences of uttering negative judgments. Remember that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me" cliche'? That old saw is both absolutely correct and absolutely incorrect simultaneously.

It is correct in that the judgments and opinions of others is none of our business. It is incorrect in that words do in fact, hurt us. Sometimes we accept the harsh judgments of our parents and siblings as true. Sometimes we build entire and inaccurate belief systems including lack of self esteem and self worth because of them. Perhaps teachers say things that corroborate those fearful feelings that we have. Sometimes words anger us or cause us to lash out in a never ending game of "one ups man ship" that leaves both parties diminished and hurt.

Characterizing people as arrogant, self absorbed, jaded, cynical, or any of the thousands of ways that we have invented to negatively characterize someone else instantly becomes part of our bad belief system. If we say that Joe is a pussy or a coward, we have instantly uttered an opinion and a belief that we most likely will adhere to. We may have acquired a bad belief which is very often limited to an isolated incident or very incomplete information. We simply do not know whether Joe is a coward or not, because we don't know the history of Joe. The person uttering that statement by implication, believes that by identifying Joe as a coward based on a singular incident, he somehow feels better about himself-perhaps even courageous. In fact that person may even be a coward himself, fearful, and making accusations to bolster his own fragile ego. He is simply living his life directed by that fearful ego that must utter such judgments.

Judging others negatively is insane. We do so ever so freely and with incredibly limited information. By and large rendering harsh judgments gets us nowhere close to emotional freedom. Most people do not respond well to judgment or criticism and they will visit us with their own brand of judgment.

There is one noteworthy exception. If you have established a position of love and understanding, trust, with your target audience it is possible to render a negative judgment that they may see as true, helpful, and well intended. Some people really do have a capacity to listen and change. My belief system says that they are the minority and that I must exercise great caution and timing when passing a negative judgment and I generally have a viable solution when I do. I choose my words ever so carefully. Words are in fact everything-this cannot be overstated.

To attain emotional freedom, I am simply going to refuse to negatively judge people. This is the safest course. If you choose this same path and make a commitment to stop judging people negatively, you should be aware of one other thing. Your past judgments do not clear up over night. People will hold deep seated animosity and resentments if you have left them scarred and they are not going to suddenly see a halo over your head. It takes time and commitment and you will undoubtedly fall back into rendering negative judgments from time to time as situations arise. But at least you will be aware of the impacts and you can always make immediate amends.
You now have recognition and awareness. Once that occurs, it becomes your responsibility to take action if your goal is emotional freedom.

Will we as individuals or as a culture ever recognize just how damaging this is? Can we escape Plato's cave by understanding that negative judgments are simply shadows that we don't fully understand and that we may never have the capacity to understand? I'm not sure. I am desperately trying to escape that shadow filled cave and it's simply too early to render a judgment. So to speak.

Refusing to negatively judge others becomes part of our new operating system. If that system requires new beliefs, the dissolving of our old ego, acceptance, courageous responsibility, and refusing to negatively judge others, we cannot ignore the role of fear and control. Fear and control as we are about to see, represent a big virus that is bogging down our new computer. Recognizing and eliminating that virus is going to bring us operating efficiencies that we never dreamed possible.

Essay 6. Acceptance

Thus far we have discussed our faulty belief systems, our false sense of self or ego, and it's ability to rationalize and justify our own poor performance and inadequacies. Specifically an ego that constantly keeps an individual in denial of the very real possibility that our belief systems are flawed and that somehow anything we do, even if it is patently false, is justifiable and right given a set of circumstances that our ego demands for survival.

Acceptance is just the willingness to embrace the possibility that we have acted poorly. That is ok. However, at the point when we first realize or begin to examine this we must take action to change this. If we do not-we are doomed to repeat the same emotional mistakes over and over again, expecting different results. Einstein's definition of insanity.

Willingness and the ability to change require rigorous honesty. We cannot apply this to anyone other than ourselves. We don't need to fall on a sword, shout from the rooftops that we have acted insanely, or blame anyone. No bolt of lightening will come from the sky and incinerate us. We are simply going to accept that we have some faulty beliefs and that we are going to work on becoming better human beings and becoming emotionally free. Your ego won't like this, it will fight and resist. It will try to remain in denial. But slowly we are gaining the upper hand.

Part of acceptance is that we must accept that we cannot change anyone other than ourselves. We are going to accept that others will make mistakes, judge us, attack us, and engage in all of the same insanity that we used to engage in. We cannot control anyone other than ourselves. Other people are simply trying to live their lives based on the belief systems installed in them. What others do has nothing to do with us, ever. In fact, what others think of you is simply none of your business. For some, that is a difficult concept to understand.

So as we accept our failures, our ego gets diminished. This is a good thing. The ego can no longer perpetuate that fraud upon us that says, "we are right" or "we must control this" or "we are under attack, launch a counterattack!" because we accept that in fact, we may be wrong because of our faulty beliefs and that to engage in this one up argument diminishes our perceived adversaries and they in turn diminish us. All of that negative behavior is completely avoidable, unnecessary, and insane. We will just let others live their lives. If they attack us, we will not launch a counter attack. It is the insanity of the planet. Inwardly, we may chuckle when we watch others engage in this attack-counterattack useless and diminishing behavior. We won't laugh long because we will remember that we once participated in that negative behavior.

Acceptance that we are all fragile human beings, mistake prone, and stuck on this rock together becomes understandable. We are going to accept our flaws and work on them, the only way that is possible. With undeterred honesty and a willingness and acceptance to become better human beings.

Essay 5. Accepting Emotional Responsibility For Your Actions

Thus far, we have singled out flawed belief systems and our false sense of self or ego as the two greatest barriers to emotional freedom. We recognize them.

Think of faulty beliefs and the ego as ancient operating systems in a computer that have accumulated viruses over time and now are rendering the computer and memory capacity incapable of performing optimally like it once did. We can't see the problem but we know that one exists because of our poor emotional state. We have a virus, faulty beliefs and our ego, and we accept this. We want to eradicate those things from our hard drive and reduce the ill effects. Having determined the problem, it is time to get out the tools and go to work.

Failing to take responsibility for our actions is actually quite understandable. As children we were punished when we failed to do as we were asked or for bad behavior. We sought the rewards for good conduct and avoided punishment at all costs. We learned that we could minimize, lie, or blame others for our bad behavior and we were successful at that sometimes. We continued to evade responsibility for our behavior as we grew into adults and eventually we passed this belief system onto our children. Parents do this primarily through actions but also verbally. Responsibility avoidance thus becomes one of those flawed belief systems.

In many people it becomes so normal and acceptable that it is second nature. It becomes part of their ego.

While responsibility avoidance certainly allows people to avoid near term consequences when it is accepted or tolerated, it has much larger downstream consequences. It has a cumulative effect on the emotional health of the deceiving party. The deceiver becomes the deceived. The deceiver never gets better because the conduct goes unchecked. Deceptive conduct manifests itself as drinking, drugging, job loss, conflict, marital and family disputes, infidelity, broken friendships. As those things unwind the deceiver rationalizes and justifies his conduct further with the aid of a fear driven ego that does not want to accept the punishment for poor conduct. The ego continues to engage in whining, blaming, justifying, and bad mouthing perceived adversaries whoever they might be.

Failing to take responsibility at the behest of a fear driven ego is insane. Continuing to practice that behavior won't yield different results. There is only one solution.

We must take responsibility for everything that happens to us. If we walk into a crosswalk without looking and get hit by a bus, we take responsibility. If we feel cheated out of a promotion we accept that we could have done better and prepared better and we vow to improve. We don't blame the boss. If our wife cheats on us, we accept our role in helping to damage the relationship in such a way that it came to that. Our role is inescapable and we scrutinize and accept our actions. At every turn.

We refuse to deceive, rationalize, or justify our own failings or to behave like victims. We are going to try and accept the blame for all of our wrongs and we are going to refuse to engage in future behavior that tempts us to avoid responsibility.

We are going to quit deceiving ourselves. We will become role models for our kids and break this national pandemic of responsibility avoidance and enabling. By applying this to all of our dealings we will arm our children with the gift of accepting responsibility for their actions. We are going to feel better about ourselves and we are going to quit feeling guilty.

We are going to chip away at our bad beliefs and fragile egos that cling to the idea that this is acceptable conduct and we will not pass this bad belief system on. Accepting responsibility becomes a key ingredient in establishing emotional freedom.

Confessions of a Recovering Ego Maniac

Well, if you've made it this far without falling asleep on your keyboard or lapsing into complete and utter confusion, let me offer up a piece of satire I wrote a few months back. I hope you will enjoy it.

I am convinced that the planet is inhabited by ego maniacs. An absolutely insane number of people running around believing that they are smarter, prettier, faster, and tougher than anyone else. They are consumed with the idea they must "succeed", whatever that is. I know because I came from that world. I am a recovering ego maniac. There are benefits.

This is how it works. Once it dawns on you that every belief system you have ever acquired is based on an opinion and that quite possibly those beliefs are flawed or wrong, the awakening starts. Little by little, whatever potentially false sense of self that you cling to gets shattered. You may be left with the possibility that you aren't the smartest, prettiest, fastest, or toughest human being and that in fact you never will be. It is possible that you are just a dumbass. When you reach this level of acceptance and humility, it no longer becomes necessary to try and prove anything. You have stripped your ego down to bare wood. Now the hardest part about accepting that you are now a tree trunk and a former ego maniac is that you are still surrounded by millions of ego maniacs in varying degrees of insanity. These people are very easy to spot and still remain hostage, clinging to their bark and that false sense of self. I will give you some examples and tips on spotting some of those types of people which will allow you to avoid conflict and enjoy life.

People that require you to address them by "title." People who habitually sign documents with a B.A., Ph.D., or some other designation on everything from stationary, notepads, or bar napkins. These folks have an inferiority complex. They are trying to prove to themselves and to the world that they are smarter or more accomplished than anyone else, that they are deserving or entitled and that they have credibility. They may mention where they went to school, without prompting, if this lends credibility to their "brainiac" image, otherwise they might not mention it. In many cases their parents told them how smart they were. Unfortunately their parents did not learn to grade on a curve that includes the six billion other people on this planet, all of whom might have told their children how smart they were. This leads to a lot of conflict even if you happen to be a genius. Avoid this trap. Get your Ph.D. and shut up about it. Or not. Act a little stupid if you are capable of that. People will like you.

The prince and the princess types. These are generally people who have to wear the very best clothes and designer labels, drive expensive foreign sports cars, and if female-take four hours to put makeup on just to walk outside and grab the paper. They absolutely fear not fitting in. This class of ego maniacs include celebrities and movie star types. Men and women completely enamored with their looks. In all likelihood, this brand of narcissism was evident in their parents and passed down. Fathers who told their daughters how beautiful they were and of course those daughters believed it. The problem here is that a billion or so other women bought into the same rhetoric from their loving fathers. Instead of starting wars and killing each other, we have beauty pageants to try and prove which daughter is the most beautiful. All of this egomania leads to a lot of conflict. Mostly among women. Avoid it. Even if you are a goddess just think of yourself as dressed in a potato sack or some ugly duckling. Act a little ugly once in awhile. People will like you and appreciate your humble nature. So will a lot of men.

The "He-Man" type, athletes, body builders, cage fighters, men with big trucks. These are men clinging to the belief that that they are stronger or tougher than anyone else. Their false sense of security is bolstered by their appearance and their willingness to intimidate you. Often they are somewhat narcissistic particularly about their bodies. Sometimes they pick fights with strangers. They come from families where fathers, brothers, and uncles told them how tough they were and that this is family tradition. They bought into this belief and think strongly that it has some useful purpose. All of that conflict causes conflict. Some of these men grow old, infirm, and die. Or get shot by scared skinny men who are easily intimidated. Avoid the potential adverse impacts. Lift a lot of weights, stay healthy, and wear baggy clothes. Tell people you are a lover, not a fighter. Chicks will dig you. Everyone else will like you.

Pretentious people. These are the most populous group. Everything they possess has to be the biggest and best. They drive the most expensive cars, they have monstrously sized homes and parties so that they can show off their castles. They live in exclusive places, often secluded or on mountain tops, they have yachts and jets. Too much is never enough. They want you to envy them. They are completely self absorbed and forever wanting more. They are constantly keeping score and telling you how bright, savvy, and sophisticated they are in that subliminal message that they continuously convey. This leads to a lot of conflict. To avoid this trap, go ahead and earn a lot of dough and live in a small house in Omaha, Nebraska like Warren Buffett. Keep your mouth shut about how bright you are and how you have managed to exploit everyone else for your own greed and ego. Leave your money to charity. People will still think you have a humongous ego, but at least you will confuse them a little bit. Maybe they will say nice things at your wake.

So what's in all this for a recovering ego maniac? A man who is potentially stupid, ugly, easily intimidated, and weak? Freedom and happiness. It's no longer important for me to be hostage to all of that insanity and a set of false beliefs that cause conflict. It's ok to just be happy without keeping score and let other people indulge in that insanity if they want. You are not required to mention any of this by the way. It causes conflict. Keep quiet, people will like you.