For the past several years, I have been working very hard to destroy my ego as it exists. I find ego or a false sense of self (particularly at this stage of my life) quite un-necessary.
Oh...the possibilities. Miracles.
We sell this false sense of who we are- to the world. It is emotionally dishonest. It is not who we are or what we are. Often, we are still trying to escape punishment and obtain rewards. That, quite frankly, is how we live our lives. Think about that for a moment. Aren't we always trying to escape punishment? Guilt?
Can it be that simple? Sure. In fact, I'm not sure it was ever any more complicated than that. We seek success because we fear poverty, social isolation, criticism and all the things that come when we fail to achieve success. Success is the reward, poverty and social isolation is the punishment. We are all motivated by our fears. Our ego will do just about anything- to get what it thinks it needs- even if fulfilling those needs leaves a path of destruction.
I know all of this. If ego, or a false sense of self is so destructive, why then do we possess ego? There must be some reason. I have struggled with this for a few years now, desperately trying to figure out what the upside to ego is. I have not been able to find a satisfactory answer.
Ego allows us to achieve success.
Is it possible to be emotionally honest and successful by reducing existing ego to only traceable amounts? Yes, I think so.
Had I known this formula as a young man, I think I might have moved mountains. At this stage in my life- I am not sure that any of this is important to me anymore. I spent a lifetime selling a false sense of self (me) to the world. Now in my early fifties and financially secure- the juice just isn't worth the squeeze. My fears have been allayed, my needs met. I can relax. I do not feed an ego that has long been in need of a diet plan.
So here is the tribal knowledge that I am trying to transmit. Ego is wildly destructive. It causes most if not all- of the friction in our lives. Is it possible to be successful with an unconscious and out of control ego? Yes, I know this because I am proof of that. I have seen other people, egoically quite similar to me, who claw their way to the top as well. Often, they leave a wake of destruction behind them. Had I been in control of my ego, that is to say- aware of it and it's destructive nature, I think I might have been far more successful in terms of relationships with people. I think the journey would have been much easier as I sought to help others first rather than the other way around. When people know you care about them and you give them priority- miracles happen. Doors open. The people in your life will go out of their way to help you. That includes everyone from your inner circle to the outer banks.
Miracles can and do happen. Often, you just have to get out of the way.