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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Is There A Spiritual Solution For Every Negative Emotion?

At one time in my life, I would have thought that question was ridiculous. Of course not. I practiced contempt prior to investigation. Quite simply, I thought I knew everything. I meet lots of people like that now.

Today I realize I was wrong. Just because you don't currently know the solution to (y) doesn't mean that a solution does not exist.

One of the greatest tricks of the human brain is that it convinces us that things are permanent. That emotions are permanent, that an inability to find a solution is permanent, that death is permanent. Depressed people who commit suicide are people without an ability or who lack the capacity to understand that there is a spiritual solution to their emotional problems. Not that I think suicide is an eternal death sentence. I rejected that fear based dogma years ago.

Imagine a negative emotion. Let's use anger. Can we dis-assemble anger like a non functioning engine or a clock and look at the parts? Can we figure out how the parts came to be, how they inter-relate, and how they fit back together? Can we fix anger like a mechanic rebuilds a 350 ci engine or a watchmaker fixes a mantle clock?

Of course we can. In fact, I have a spiritual solution for every negative emotion in my life. In the case of anger, I realize it is always fear based. When I root out the cause, which in my life usually meant that someone didn't do something the way I wanted or expected, I became angry. I find that emotion to be quite rare today. I stripped anger bare years ago, I dissected and evaluated all my fears, and I rebuilt my emotional brain. I don't take things personally. Do I still get angry once in awhile? Sure, but it happens with great infrequency.

There are also situations that exist which by themselves are not negative in and of themselves but always seem to generate negative emotions. Unmet or unrealized expectations. It happens all the time.

Here is the process I use. I take nothing personally, ever. If someone says they will call and they don't- that has nothing to do with me. If I am relying on somebody for anything in my life and they fail to meet the agreed upon terms, I accept my role and responsibility for relying on the unreliable. I also accept that people are simply living their lives and that sometimes- they do not meet their obligations or expectations. That has nothing to do with me. Those situations no longer anger me or generate negative emotions because I have a spiritual solution that is applied long before some expectation goes unmet. I risk manage in advance.

Once your expectations are un met, all that is required is communication and an internal dialogue about whether you want to subject yourself to or endure the same potential outcome again. Usually I do. I don't beat myself up if I am wrong twice. There is no rule regarding that, just a cliche' here or there.

With regard to expectations, I make plans. I do my best. I do not plan the outcome. I am always satisfied with the outcome as long as I have fulfilled my agreed upon role and due diligence. I control my actions and words. I cannot control the actions and words of others therefore I feel no need to manipulate others or try to persuade them if things don't go the way I'd like them to. I agree to those terms in the workplace, in the family, at the coffee shop.

People will always fail you. That's what people do and that is ok.

Today, I have discovered a peace that I would never have thought possible. I don't allow negative emotions to get into my head nor do I allow them to expand which they have a habit of doing. I am risk managed to such a degree that only rarely and fleetingly do negative emotions pop up, perhaps a couple of times a week. In the old days, this happened multiple times- every day. Once they do pop up, negative emotions are processed and eliminated quickly without further damage to myself or others by applying spiritual principles.

I sure could have used that spiritual blueprint as a younger man, but things never got bad enough...well... until they did. Perhaps that's what it takes.


  1. I am reading a book which is helping me immensely. Sometimes it's the simplest words written in the simplest way that works its magic in my life. The author says that each and every moment in life presents us with the opportunity to choose PEACE over conflict, or anger or sadness or whatever other negative emotion that might pop up. We need to ask ourselves what it is that we want in life, and if it is peace, then we have to make that choice immediately and allow our ego-self to take a back seat. Of course, this is always easier said than done...and I find it extremely difficult when dealing with those I am closest to.But we still have to try.

    So choosing peace is what has to be first in our minds, not being right or smarter or a victim. The author says that every time we choose peace (even when it feels as though we are sometimes losing something in that choice), that we are ultimately teaching peace to others. We are conditioned to think that giving means losing. The author says we need to remember that to have all, we must give all. I try to remember this. I try to choose peace.


  2. I tend to agree with your summary of the author's premise. The problem with "choosing peace" is that it is far too simplistic.

    It's like telling somebody, just change your attitude. Easy to say, but an absolutely impossible task if you have no roadmap. It's the roadmap that everyone lacks.

    So choosing peace has to be a giant body of personal work. You must change all of your belief systems. You have to eliminate fear and ego. You have to let people be who they are. You must accept that you are always the biggest problem in your life. If you can do that and some additional things- unflinchingly...maybe you can choose peace. You have to rigorously practice those principles all of the time.

    I don't mean to beat up on this guy but my experience has been that it takes far more work to accomplish "peace" than simply trying to will it. Consciousness is elusive.

    I have found a solution. Interesting. It begs the question. "Has that author found something that only works for him?" Or do I practice something that only works for me?