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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Is Life Fair?

How many times have you heard people say that life isn't fair? Hundreds, perhaps thousands of times? This is a commonly held belief that might very well not be true.

When I hear people say that life isn't fair, I translate this to mean, "life hasn't been fair to me." This is "victimology" thinking. Very often, those people have acquired a belief system that accepts life as unfair and thus true. In some cases, it might very well appear to be true. If you were born to drug dealing or abusive parents, life might not appear fair at all.

Until you gain conscious understanding.

So let me make a bold statement. A counter belief that might be true. At the point you recognize that all things are not created equal, life gets exceedingly fair. In fact, perfectly fair. That is my belief system. Life then is brutally fair.

As we become emotionally free, we recognize that we were all trained and raised differently. What we don't have is an understanding of how all others were raised. Rarely do we spend enough time with any one individual to get clear understanding. At best all we usually see are the symptoms of a fearful ego. And in that insane, assumptive style of ours, we label people. We call them mean spirited, or arrogant, maybe impatient. We label their symptoms. We were taught this by others. It was accepted as true. We believe that we are divinely guided and that we alone are gifted enough to see these things and judge others. Just as we were instructed.

Yet were we able to spend enough time listening to people, we might get a clear understanding of others. We begin to recognize that in actuality, we know very little about others. All we really know is what two parents taught us. If that. That's it. Hardly a consensus with which to "judge" the world and label all the people in it with little or no understanding. Yet it happens all the time.

As we become emotionally free and practice rigorous honesty, we begin to see that open and deep communication is the only way to arrive at real understanding. We accept that we often don't have a clue why others behave as they do. We seek understanding. We no longer seek to be understood. We participate and we care. We recognize that our insane egos diminish and hurt others, that we get angry at the most ridiculous provocations, and that we no longer need to launch unproductive and diminishing counter attacks when our ego tells us to.

Whenever I feel a negative emotion, I ask, "what is wrong with me?" And when I do, I generally uncover the cause. I go no further. I don't need to. The problem is always me and how I see the world. I gain acceptance and it works. Perfectly. Fairly.

As we practice real emotional freedom, we no longer seek to be victims or look for sympathy. We gain acceptance. We begin to see the world as a very fair place. In fact we increasingly find it very fair. The way we see the world begins to be reflected back upon us. As we treat others with love, compassion, and understanding those emotions get returned to us. That is fair. And when we treat others badly, at the behest of our fear driven egos, anger and rejection get returned to us. That seems very fair as well.

When we hear others complain that life isn't fair, we simply know that they have not learned the lesson that we have. They respond to adversity like victims, whining and justifying their behavior. Looking for sympathetic ears. The problem with that thinking, even if it's true, is that there is no solution or positive outcome. Nothing changes. People simply get mired in self pity as they find more and more people willing to be sympathetic-rarely telling them what they NEED to hear-simply reciting what they WANT to hear. We seek solutions.

Today we see the world as a very fair place. We are willing to examine our faulty belief systems and at the very least, extend some love, compassion, and understanding to others. We are trying something new and we are getting different results. And if we weren't after different results, then we wouldn't be here seeking emotional freedom, would we?

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