In a laboratory, scientists try various methods to accomplish a task or achieve a goal. Very often their first attempts fail. Thomas Watson, the famous inventor referring to his success once said, "I have found ten thousand ways that did not work."
My favorite quote of Edison's is, "Hell there are no rules here. We are trying to accomplish something!"
Those two quotes are very appropriate here. As you seek emotional freedom, the world become your laboratory. You will try ways that do not work and your ego will attempt survival. Here then are a couple examples of this. The first is personal. The second example of what we are trying to accomplish is very contemporary and comes to us courtesy of Brooke Shields and an article in ET online today regarding her mother.
As I made my commitment to emotional freedom and was ingraining the principles of the "Four Agreements" into my head and practicing them, I hit my first dilemma. It came courtesy of a man called Dennis. Dennis and I worked together in a non profit organization. He had decided that he didn't like me much. At first I let his comments bounce off me and to my credit, I did not engage him-choosing instead not to "take anything personally." But try as I might, I could not escape Dennis and his deriding comments.
So I spoke with my spiritual friend and advisor. I told him what had been happening and what Dennis had been saying. He asked how I felt about that. I told him that I felt like kicking his ass even though I had said nothing to him.
My advisor smiled at me. He said, "we have a lot of work to do." He continued, "People are free to live their lives and we accept that." Dennis he lamented, is simply as unconscious as you were only a few weeks ago. He asked me to go home and pray for Dennis. He said you know the answer, you have already told me what is is. So I prayed for and mulled this situation over with Dennis. He was simply afraid of something and trying to control my behavior. I began to understand this. It didn't matter why-what mattered was gaining acceptance and understanding. When I did, I arrived at the only spiritual conclusion. Dennis represented a shadowy belief system that I didn't understand. I didn't have to understand it. I simply returned his comments with love and acceptance. I was ok with letting him be who he wanted to be and you know what? He quit. We ended up being somewhat agreeable pals. He began to like me, as I spoke with him more, and I began to like him. Had I engaged in that "one up" and counterattack behavior, that conclusion would have been near impossible. Because I had acted appropriately, I did not feel any guilt, shame, or remorse nor did I heap any on Dennis.
It is interesting to note that my first egoic instinct was to launch a counterattack. People around me would think I was justified in doing so. They might have even encouraged it. But you see, I would have been the one in that emotional tar pit. Not them. Their enabling thoughts would have made extraction far harder and made resolution with Dennis near impossible.
In todays Entertainment Tonite comes a story of Brooke Shields. I will use this story only as an illustration of the insanity of this planet. In no way, shape, or form is this meant to diminish Ms. Shields but it is a very timely and perfect example of what we are trying to accomplish.
According to the story, Ms. Shields' mother suffers from dementia and Ms. Shields placed her into assisted living. According to Shields, and the local police chief, two reporters posing as friends talked her mother into leaving the home intent I suppose on getting a story according to the article. The elder Shields was returned unharmed. Brooke Shields has vowed revenge on the nursing home and the reporters who lured her away calling them (labeling, judging) derogatory words and vowing litigation.
We are in the lab. Let's break this down as emotionally free people would.
Two reporters had formed a collective belief that they were not violating any rules. We cannot assume that they were there to get some juicy piece of gossip although that may seem likely.
Ms. Shields was clearly angry. Since we know that fear and our inability to control situations manifest themselves as anger it is possible that this is what is at work here. Ms. Shields thus takes on a "victim" role claiming she has been violated. She vows to launch a counterattack, thinking that she has every right to do so. This is her ego, the same ego that justifies that she is right. Perhaps she will launch this counterattack and certainly there are unconscious folks that will agree and enable her to do just that.
The problem here is simple. Ms. Shields will have to live with all that anger and resentment as her ego demands it. She can wallow in self pity and be a victim. File lawsuits, look for charges, become frustrated when her attempts to gain revenge are thwarted. The world will let her do that. She can wallow in that emotional tar pit as long as she wants. That is the insanity of the planet.
Or Brooke can gain acceptance. People are just trying to live their lives, screwing up here and there. It isn't personal-and you really do have a choice. You can choose to not let it affect you emotionally. You can take steps to prevent similar conduct. You are not required to counter attack, get angry, hateful or beat each over the heads like we have done for 2000 years. If you react with love, the people that took her will have to live with themselves. In fact, they will learn far more and far faster this way. It is a choice. You always have a choice. Emotionally free people understand this.
Thus the world is our laboratory. Each of us is free to choose how we react when adversity strikes. We can continue to behave in the same old fashioned way or try something new.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
A. Make a Commitment
My first pass through the book, "The Four Agreements", left me stunned. Here were four key rules that would improve my life dramatically and change the way I saw the world. Change my perception.
I had already embraced the concept that individual human beings simply don't understand one another although I have known a few who think they do, which includes myself. That includes other family members. Thus, all people simply represent shadows to me. Shadows on Plato's cave wall.
The idea that you really know nothing about anyone else is actually a very healthy one. It creates a level playing field wherein you have made no judgments, rendered no opinions. The actualization and beauty of that is that you will never have to do that again. It is simply un necessary.
As I reflected back on my life and the four agreements, I realized how often I had violated those simple rules. It was an embarrassing and humiliating moment for me. I also remember thinking how powerful it would have been to be taught those rules as a teenager. Would I have embraced those principles at 15? The answer is yes, I think so.
I read the "Four Agreements" several times. It is a quick read, about three or four hours. In the weeks that followed, I began to formulate an action plan. These are the key components to the plan I adopted.
1. A willingness to change the way I saw the world. My way simply did not work well.
2. I would wipe the emotional slate clean. I would accept that friend or foe, I simply didn't understand nor could I possibly understand, anyone else.
3. I would put the "Four Agreements" into action. "Use Impeccable Words, Take Nothing Personally, Make No Assumptions, Always Do Your Best. I made a commitment.
I had some difficulty with "Take Nothing Personally" as it applied to me. That was a very difficult concept for me to grasp and understand. I re-read that chapter a total of nine times. Eventually I found myself accepting that. Taking nothing personally meant accepting complete responsibility for every thing that happened to you, refusing to accept a victim role or wallow in self pity, and understanding that other people are simply living their lives.It is and never was-personal.
When someone judges you, they simply reflect who they are and their beliefs. It has nothing to do with you. They are making the same mistake that we have recognized in ourselves and are trying to fix. We accept that others are entitled to their beliefs and we are fine with that. What others say simply bounces off us. Because we have understanding.
That doesn't make us better or worse, we simply have recognition.
To actually acquire and practice these agreements takes commitment. It may take you a few hours to read the book but a lifetime to implement.
The "Four Agreements" became my base operating system. I found myself changing all the rules. My ego desperately wanted to cling to it's false beliefs and it struggled for survival. I began to realize how insane all that was.
I'm not suggesting that the "Four Agreements" is the only path to emotional freedom but it's not a bad place to start. I've known others who have used a "Course in Miracles" as a reference and I am stunned at how insightful they are. In fact, I see both texts as mutually beneficial and they achieve eye popping results. In fact, the written course seems a very appropriate choice because it is done in black and white and not subject to the ramblings and distractions of verbal coaching. I met one couple who used both. They coach and teach for free.
(A hint from a good friend. Read the black stuff, not the white stuff.)
Make no mistake about it, in the beginning you are about to engage in a tug of war with your ego and a belief system that doesn't want to change. It will use fear and identity loss and every other available tool to prevent you from becoming who you want to be. We must also accept that it is a two steps forward, one step back, kind of thing.
One last caveat. In a world of fast food, credit cards, and Federal Express emotional freedom is not something you get immediately upon demand. It is a slow and arduous process to recognize and unlearn bad belief systems. Then we must build new ones. We spoke briefly about expectations. It takes what it takes. If it's taken us 50 years to recognize and accept that racism is a flawed belief system, well let's hope we achieve quicker and better results for ourselves.
Making a commitment means recognizing that we want fulfilling and emotionally free lives. We want to love and see love in return. I accept that there is more than one way to get to Denver and so it is, I accept that there are other paths to obtain emotional freedom than the one I found. Whatever path you select, make a commitment. Making a commitment means that you are about to begin the process of loving yourself. You will accept your mistakes and realize that you are not doomed to repeat them. We become part of the solution when we commit to this process. You do not have to feel fear, guilt, pain, or shame ever again.
If you think of the last 2000 years as a sociology experiment, then perhaps clubbing each other over the heads, arguing, and killing each other might lead you to believe that we might be doing something wrong. In my past life, we call that prima facia evidence.
I had already embraced the concept that individual human beings simply don't understand one another although I have known a few who think they do, which includes myself. That includes other family members. Thus, all people simply represent shadows to me. Shadows on Plato's cave wall.
The idea that you really know nothing about anyone else is actually a very healthy one. It creates a level playing field wherein you have made no judgments, rendered no opinions. The actualization and beauty of that is that you will never have to do that again. It is simply un necessary.
As I reflected back on my life and the four agreements, I realized how often I had violated those simple rules. It was an embarrassing and humiliating moment for me. I also remember thinking how powerful it would have been to be taught those rules as a teenager. Would I have embraced those principles at 15? The answer is yes, I think so.
I read the "Four Agreements" several times. It is a quick read, about three or four hours. In the weeks that followed, I began to formulate an action plan. These are the key components to the plan I adopted.
1. A willingness to change the way I saw the world. My way simply did not work well.
2. I would wipe the emotional slate clean. I would accept that friend or foe, I simply didn't understand nor could I possibly understand, anyone else.
3. I would put the "Four Agreements" into action. "Use Impeccable Words, Take Nothing Personally, Make No Assumptions, Always Do Your Best. I made a commitment.
I had some difficulty with "Take Nothing Personally" as it applied to me. That was a very difficult concept for me to grasp and understand. I re-read that chapter a total of nine times. Eventually I found myself accepting that. Taking nothing personally meant accepting complete responsibility for every thing that happened to you, refusing to accept a victim role or wallow in self pity, and understanding that other people are simply living their lives.It is and never was-personal.
When someone judges you, they simply reflect who they are and their beliefs. It has nothing to do with you. They are making the same mistake that we have recognized in ourselves and are trying to fix. We accept that others are entitled to their beliefs and we are fine with that. What others say simply bounces off us. Because we have understanding.
That doesn't make us better or worse, we simply have recognition.
To actually acquire and practice these agreements takes commitment. It may take you a few hours to read the book but a lifetime to implement.
The "Four Agreements" became my base operating system. I found myself changing all the rules. My ego desperately wanted to cling to it's false beliefs and it struggled for survival. I began to realize how insane all that was.
I'm not suggesting that the "Four Agreements" is the only path to emotional freedom but it's not a bad place to start. I've known others who have used a "Course in Miracles" as a reference and I am stunned at how insightful they are. In fact, I see both texts as mutually beneficial and they achieve eye popping results. In fact, the written course seems a very appropriate choice because it is done in black and white and not subject to the ramblings and distractions of verbal coaching. I met one couple who used both. They coach and teach for free.
(A hint from a good friend. Read the black stuff, not the white stuff.)
Make no mistake about it, in the beginning you are about to engage in a tug of war with your ego and a belief system that doesn't want to change. It will use fear and identity loss and every other available tool to prevent you from becoming who you want to be. We must also accept that it is a two steps forward, one step back, kind of thing.
One last caveat. In a world of fast food, credit cards, and Federal Express emotional freedom is not something you get immediately upon demand. It is a slow and arduous process to recognize and unlearn bad belief systems. Then we must build new ones. We spoke briefly about expectations. It takes what it takes. If it's taken us 50 years to recognize and accept that racism is a flawed belief system, well let's hope we achieve quicker and better results for ourselves.
Making a commitment means recognizing that we want fulfilling and emotionally free lives. We want to love and see love in return. I accept that there is more than one way to get to Denver and so it is, I accept that there are other paths to obtain emotional freedom than the one I found. Whatever path you select, make a commitment. Making a commitment means that you are about to begin the process of loving yourself. You will accept your mistakes and realize that you are not doomed to repeat them. We become part of the solution when we commit to this process. You do not have to feel fear, guilt, pain, or shame ever again.
If you think of the last 2000 years as a sociology experiment, then perhaps clubbing each other over the heads, arguing, and killing each other might lead you to believe that we might be doing something wrong. In my past life, we call that prima facia evidence.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Fear and Control Exercise
If there is one easily identifiable and often irrational emotion it is fear. If an ego fears something, it will try to control it. If the ego fails, often it becomes irritable, frustrated, or angry.
With almost 100% certainty, think of the last time you were irritable, frustrated, or angry. Did you have a fear that you were unable to calm, reassure, or control? Just how important was that in retrospect? Would acceptance be irrational?
The fear and control exercise is a fun one to observe. Take a few days, perhaps even a week or two, and observe those people who surround you. Pay attention to what they say and do. Watch as they exert their fears and thus control over the people around you and yourself.
Try to identify the source of what they do. A common denominator will begin to emerge. If you are in a number of particularly crazy, conflict and ego driven relationships, this fear and control
theme will simply become overwhelming and undeniable. Laughable in many instances.
I used to love to watch talk shows. They are a veritable minefield of egos lost in preoccupation with the self, fear and control, and ego. After awhile, they became too embarrassing for me to watch. But they are an excellent reference source for the fear and control exercise.
Once I was mediating a dispute between two lovers as they wrestled for control of their relationship. Both participants were completely unconscious and absorbed in self-trying to assuage their fears. She wanted complete devotion and the "house with a picket fence" (a faulty belief system) and he wanted a more casual and uncommitted relationship. The two participants in this relationship refused to budge, held hostage to their fears and thus control of how they wanted this thing to turn out. It eventually boiled over as she manipulated him into a psychological corner. His fears and thus inability to control her manifested themselves into an angry, hostile, and near violent conclusion complete with name calling, labeling, and the usual host of negative judgments.
All of the things we have talked about thus far were evident. Faulty beliefs, fear and control, and to a larger degree, un-communicated expectations.
So take a few days or a week to focus on fear and control. The extent and the clarity of this will emerge. In fact, it may overwhelm you. Do this exercise at home or work, or while talking to your siblings, parents, co-workers, or boss.
One last caveat. Keep the results to yourself. Unconscious egos will launch counterattacks as soon as they feel threatened or fearful. This exercise is intended to just make you aware of all of the insanity around you. Pointing it out serves no useful purpose.
With almost 100% certainty, think of the last time you were irritable, frustrated, or angry. Did you have a fear that you were unable to calm, reassure, or control? Just how important was that in retrospect? Would acceptance be irrational?
The fear and control exercise is a fun one to observe. Take a few days, perhaps even a week or two, and observe those people who surround you. Pay attention to what they say and do. Watch as they exert their fears and thus control over the people around you and yourself.
Try to identify the source of what they do. A common denominator will begin to emerge. If you are in a number of particularly crazy, conflict and ego driven relationships, this fear and control
theme will simply become overwhelming and undeniable. Laughable in many instances.
I used to love to watch talk shows. They are a veritable minefield of egos lost in preoccupation with the self, fear and control, and ego. After awhile, they became too embarrassing for me to watch. But they are an excellent reference source for the fear and control exercise.
Once I was mediating a dispute between two lovers as they wrestled for control of their relationship. Both participants were completely unconscious and absorbed in self-trying to assuage their fears. She wanted complete devotion and the "house with a picket fence" (a faulty belief system) and he wanted a more casual and uncommitted relationship. The two participants in this relationship refused to budge, held hostage to their fears and thus control of how they wanted this thing to turn out. It eventually boiled over as she manipulated him into a psychological corner. His fears and thus inability to control her manifested themselves into an angry, hostile, and near violent conclusion complete with name calling, labeling, and the usual host of negative judgments.
All of the things we have talked about thus far were evident. Faulty beliefs, fear and control, and to a larger degree, un-communicated expectations.
So take a few days or a week to focus on fear and control. The extent and the clarity of this will emerge. In fact, it may overwhelm you. Do this exercise at home or work, or while talking to your siblings, parents, co-workers, or boss.
One last caveat. Keep the results to yourself. Unconscious egos will launch counterattacks as soon as they feel threatened or fearful. This exercise is intended to just make you aware of all of the insanity around you. Pointing it out serves no useful purpose.
Essay 11. Recap and Summary
Perhaps you've arrived here and are now asking yourself, "Who is this maniac?" or "What's in it for him?"
Both of those are fair questions. You won't find anyone teaching unconditional love because quite frankly, nobody believes in it. You won't find a Harvard degree or a course of study at state college. So if you are looking for credentials, good luck. The answer to the 2nd question is far simpler. Unconditional love and emotional freedom is a gift. It was given to me for free. I couldn't care less if I made one thin dime returning the gift to others. Hard to believe in a cynical and jaded world where everyone is in it for themselves. We are conditioned to believe that. Like all of the illusory beliefs we acquire, that is simply one more example.
This is a recap designed to acquire recognition. At the end of this, we are about to develop an action plan that will change your life. So let's recap where we've been.
We understand that we know very little about others. We think we know but we do not. What we see in others is just a reflection of our own beliefs which are merely opinions. That is the basis for a faulty belief system.
We acquire beliefs which are faulty or true only for ourselves. As we add more and more beliefs, an ego begins to emerge. A false sense of self that tells us we are less than or more than others. We've agreed to accept as true the opinions of our teachers, or our experiences which very often are isolated and limiting or untrue.
Our ego then begins to rule our thought processes. It takes over. It fights for survival as it imposes faulty beliefs on others and struggles for survival. It causes conflict and convinces us that it is right. It refuses to allow us to examine it. The ego is fear based. It doesn't want to let go of the faulty beliefs and judgments it has acquired. Our ego runs rampant, it runs us.
Accepting responsibility for the ego is our first attempt at rigorous honesty. We begin to unmask it and realize the damage our ego has inflicted on others and ourselves. We expose it, we recognize it. We examine our role in conflicts and realize just how silly they are.
We accept that we have acted poorly and we seek to improve our lives by taking action and wrestling control of our ego.
We see how negative judgments, (and some good ones) adversely affect us. We see the insanity of labeling others or assuming on minimal information that we know anything about the people around us. We simply do not understand people well enough to arrive at any conclusion.
We have examined fear and control and the huge role those emotions play in virtually everything we do and virtually everything others do. Fear and control are the triggers that call our ego into action.
We realize that allowing ourselves to become victims and to wallow in self pity is a useless exercise. We realize that adversity strikes us all and how we deal with adversity either leaves us in a tar pit of emotions or allows us to take action and escape with a minimum of damage.
Uncommunicated expectations are another manifestation of our ego. They too have their roots sunk deep into our unconscious ego. The insane idea that others will behave just as we want or expect is patently ridiculous. That our beliefs should be theirs. We will try to be better communicators and expose ourselves to the ones we love.
At this stage, we have begun to recognize all of this insanity caused by the human ego. We are going to accept that often at times we have acted fearfully and selfishly and that we were given these beliefs or acquired them.
At the point of recognition, we can no longer continue to repeat this insanity. There would be no point in finding a leak in the dam and then refusing to fix it. We want to improve our lives and get as well as we can. We are going to embrace this idea and take the steps necessary to improve our lives and our relationships. You are about to embark on a mission of real emotional freedom. What some may refer to as, "spirituality." We are going to examine some essential tools and ultimately develop a plan.
Both of those are fair questions. You won't find anyone teaching unconditional love because quite frankly, nobody believes in it. You won't find a Harvard degree or a course of study at state college. So if you are looking for credentials, good luck. The answer to the 2nd question is far simpler. Unconditional love and emotional freedom is a gift. It was given to me for free. I couldn't care less if I made one thin dime returning the gift to others. Hard to believe in a cynical and jaded world where everyone is in it for themselves. We are conditioned to believe that. Like all of the illusory beliefs we acquire, that is simply one more example.
This is a recap designed to acquire recognition. At the end of this, we are about to develop an action plan that will change your life. So let's recap where we've been.
We understand that we know very little about others. We think we know but we do not. What we see in others is just a reflection of our own beliefs which are merely opinions. That is the basis for a faulty belief system.
We acquire beliefs which are faulty or true only for ourselves. As we add more and more beliefs, an ego begins to emerge. A false sense of self that tells us we are less than or more than others. We've agreed to accept as true the opinions of our teachers, or our experiences which very often are isolated and limiting or untrue.
Our ego then begins to rule our thought processes. It takes over. It fights for survival as it imposes faulty beliefs on others and struggles for survival. It causes conflict and convinces us that it is right. It refuses to allow us to examine it. The ego is fear based. It doesn't want to let go of the faulty beliefs and judgments it has acquired. Our ego runs rampant, it runs us.
Accepting responsibility for the ego is our first attempt at rigorous honesty. We begin to unmask it and realize the damage our ego has inflicted on others and ourselves. We expose it, we recognize it. We examine our role in conflicts and realize just how silly they are.
We accept that we have acted poorly and we seek to improve our lives by taking action and wrestling control of our ego.
We see how negative judgments, (and some good ones) adversely affect us. We see the insanity of labeling others or assuming on minimal information that we know anything about the people around us. We simply do not understand people well enough to arrive at any conclusion.
We have examined fear and control and the huge role those emotions play in virtually everything we do and virtually everything others do. Fear and control are the triggers that call our ego into action.
We realize that allowing ourselves to become victims and to wallow in self pity is a useless exercise. We realize that adversity strikes us all and how we deal with adversity either leaves us in a tar pit of emotions or allows us to take action and escape with a minimum of damage.
Uncommunicated expectations are another manifestation of our ego. They too have their roots sunk deep into our unconscious ego. The insane idea that others will behave just as we want or expect is patently ridiculous. That our beliefs should be theirs. We will try to be better communicators and expose ourselves to the ones we love.
At this stage, we have begun to recognize all of this insanity caused by the human ego. We are going to accept that often at times we have acted fearfully and selfishly and that we were given these beliefs or acquired them.
At the point of recognition, we can no longer continue to repeat this insanity. There would be no point in finding a leak in the dam and then refusing to fix it. We want to improve our lives and get as well as we can. We are going to embrace this idea and take the steps necessary to improve our lives and our relationships. You are about to embark on a mission of real emotional freedom. What some may refer to as, "spirituality." We are going to examine some essential tools and ultimately develop a plan.
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Recognition Recap
Up until this point, we have been trying to raise a simple awareness. A recognition that while the world has changed dramatically in 2000 years, human beings have simply stood still. There has been no emotional evolution among human beings and as some have pointed out, perhaps a de-evolution. We have remained hostage to faulty belief systems and we really are no better off than the people crucifying Christ. In fact, we adhere to the same faulty belief systems that we always have. Ego, fear, and thus control-justifies our actions. Clearly we believe that which in turn has us doing the same old garbage hoping for different results. Einstein's definition of insanity.
So we are willing to try something different. Change the experiment-thus the results.
So we are willing to try something different. Change the experiment-thus the results.
Putting It All Together
You may have noticed a resounding theme throughout this blog as we've identified some of the insane behavior that humans engage in. Whether it's labeling or judging people, getting angry and diminishing others, fear and control, constantly comparing ourselves or coveting the possessions of others, or feeling the guilt or shame of our bad behavior. There is one miracle cure that causes every character defect we have ever had to simply vanish.
That cure is unconditional love. Make no mistake about it. It is real and it works.
To acquire and to possess unconditional love, we have to recognize and unlearn faulty beliefs. I have met no exceptions to this rule. Perhaps Echart Tolle. Of all of the countless Fathers, Ministers, non-profit workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, and counselors I have known and met, I have yet to meet just one of them that can look a patient in the eye and say, "Unconditional love will cure you." Or, "we know how to do it." They simply are unaware.
Why is that? Because they have accepted a belief system passed onto them. They have never met anyone that possesses such a thing. Therefore they believe, unconditional love is impossible.
I challenge you to find a degree program, anywhere in the United States, that teaches unconditional love. It is unheard of. And I will be the first person to tell you, that I didn't believe it either. A very funny thing happened. At first people were reluctant to hear what I said. They thought I might be insane. Some people I have talked to are actually beginning to understand that unconditional love is actually a choice you can make. You don't have to hate, really. Can we learn how to love instead? Do we have a choice? Of course we do. That's what this is all about.
Conceptually unconditional love is a very difficult concept to grasp. Most folks don't even know where to start. They don't know, "Whats in it for me?"
That is precisely where I was two years ago. Confused, bewildered, and laden with 46 years of ego and faulty belief systems I had no idea where to start or where it would lead me.
Let me offer one last illustration as an example. It is such a perfect illustration that it bears repeating. It is one of unconditional hate and the collective power of ego and unconditional haters. Imagine back in the 90's when Osama Bin Laden was forming his hatred for his "perceived" enemies. Searching for a way to destroy those Trade Center Towers. His creative problem solving skills and intelligence allowed him to find a way. With complete slavery to his false sense of self he was able to conceive a way, convince others through the clever manipulation of that ego and religion, to plan and carry out a mission that destroyed the lives of thousands. That act caused a ripple effect that sent a wake of additional grief and suffering among the survivors.
Are we required to hate Bin Laden for this? No. But you can if you want. Millions do. Thus we too, have a collective ego that says killing him is perfectly sane. A belief.
Clearly that act represented utter insanity yet Bin Laden has great intelligence and might very well do fine on any given IQ test or psychiatric test. Is he evil? Or is that a label we use?
Bin Laden is completely and utterly self absorbed by a false sense of self, an ego, that feels completely justified in killing human beings. Timothy McVeigh is another example. It is the type of insanity described by Tolle.
Thus if you can be captivated by this false belief system to perform acts of unconditional hate, can you rid yourself of that ego and perform acts of unconditional love?
Sure. You just have to change your belief system. Change it from one of hate to one of love. That's why we're here. If you can dream it, it's possible.
We are in the stage of recognition. Let's try to put this all together.
That cure is unconditional love. Make no mistake about it. It is real and it works.
To acquire and to possess unconditional love, we have to recognize and unlearn faulty beliefs. I have met no exceptions to this rule. Perhaps Echart Tolle. Of all of the countless Fathers, Ministers, non-profit workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, and counselors I have known and met, I have yet to meet just one of them that can look a patient in the eye and say, "Unconditional love will cure you." Or, "we know how to do it." They simply are unaware.
Why is that? Because they have accepted a belief system passed onto them. They have never met anyone that possesses such a thing. Therefore they believe, unconditional love is impossible.
I challenge you to find a degree program, anywhere in the United States, that teaches unconditional love. It is unheard of. And I will be the first person to tell you, that I didn't believe it either. A very funny thing happened. At first people were reluctant to hear what I said. They thought I might be insane. Some people I have talked to are actually beginning to understand that unconditional love is actually a choice you can make. You don't have to hate, really. Can we learn how to love instead? Do we have a choice? Of course we do. That's what this is all about.
Conceptually unconditional love is a very difficult concept to grasp. Most folks don't even know where to start. They don't know, "Whats in it for me?"
That is precisely where I was two years ago. Confused, bewildered, and laden with 46 years of ego and faulty belief systems I had no idea where to start or where it would lead me.
Let me offer one last illustration as an example. It is such a perfect illustration that it bears repeating. It is one of unconditional hate and the collective power of ego and unconditional haters. Imagine back in the 90's when Osama Bin Laden was forming his hatred for his "perceived" enemies. Searching for a way to destroy those Trade Center Towers. His creative problem solving skills and intelligence allowed him to find a way. With complete slavery to his false sense of self he was able to conceive a way, convince others through the clever manipulation of that ego and religion, to plan and carry out a mission that destroyed the lives of thousands. That act caused a ripple effect that sent a wake of additional grief and suffering among the survivors.
Are we required to hate Bin Laden for this? No. But you can if you want. Millions do. Thus we too, have a collective ego that says killing him is perfectly sane. A belief.
Clearly that act represented utter insanity yet Bin Laden has great intelligence and might very well do fine on any given IQ test or psychiatric test. Is he evil? Or is that a label we use?
Bin Laden is completely and utterly self absorbed by a false sense of self, an ego, that feels completely justified in killing human beings. Timothy McVeigh is another example. It is the type of insanity described by Tolle.
Thus if you can be captivated by this false belief system to perform acts of unconditional hate, can you rid yourself of that ego and perform acts of unconditional love?
Sure. You just have to change your belief system. Change it from one of hate to one of love. That's why we're here. If you can dream it, it's possible.
We are in the stage of recognition. Let's try to put this all together.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Your Dog is Trying to Tell You Something
The whole concept of unconditional love is difficult for most people to grasp. It is difficult for some people to define love and harder yet to understand unconditional love. Unconditional love is not a difficult concept, really. It is pure acceptance and the willingness to accept someone for all of their fears, faults, and resultant ego. And love them anyway.
In short it is a choice you make. Just like that choice you made to dislike your neighbor, your co-worker, your boss. You were unwilling to accept someone elses's flaws and judged them. Your ego was in control. It told you that judging someone else was acceptable.
On several occasions, I have brought the concept of unconditional love up with other people. They squirm, make some half-hearted attempt to explain it, and none believe it is possible. The closest thing most will say is that unconditional love is perhaps only possible between a mother and a child. Or that of a dog. Now I haven't seen any mother actually practice unconditional love in the purest form of acceptance. But I understand those that think that the love of a mother for her child might be close.
But this dog thing, that is intriguing.
In my neck of the woods, people absolutely love their dogs. Dogs are simple creatures. You feed them and take care of them and in return they shower us with unconditional love. Dogs don't care whether you had a bad day or not, whether your checking account is overdrawn, or that you just got fired. They shower us with affection when we get home, wagging their tails and licking us. Genuinely happy that their best friend is home.
Indeed, I've heard more than one dog owner say that they would like to become the person their dog thinks they are.
You see dogs don't care about your bad day. They care about you. They practice unconditional love. Why? Why can an animal with an allegedly smaller I.Q. practice something that humans can't? How can a dog practice unconditional love yet human beings think they can't?
The dog has an incredibly huge advantage. Dogs don't possess fear and thus they have no ego.
Oh, don't get me wrong-dogs possess fear to the extent that they sometimes are outmatched and flee but that is simply survival extinct. What they don't do is sit around judging us, fearing us, arguing with us, or giving us the silent treatment in some juvenile way of reconciling differences.
They don't have egos. They are simply dogs. Devoid of ego, they have the capacity to love us even when we have been pretty crappy friends or when we ignore them. They remain loyal and available to us.
This capacity to love unconditionally is found in a creature that can't build cars, or sell real estate, and they don't covet anything other than a treat or a bone. They don't care whether your truck is a 1969 or 2009 model. In fact, they could probably care less that we have a vehicle at all. They simply love us despite our flawed beliefs and faults. Unconditional acceptance and trust. Love.
Devoid of ego, dogs practice unconditional love. Think about that. Your dog may be trying to tell you something.
In short it is a choice you make. Just like that choice you made to dislike your neighbor, your co-worker, your boss. You were unwilling to accept someone elses's flaws and judged them. Your ego was in control. It told you that judging someone else was acceptable.
On several occasions, I have brought the concept of unconditional love up with other people. They squirm, make some half-hearted attempt to explain it, and none believe it is possible. The closest thing most will say is that unconditional love is perhaps only possible between a mother and a child. Or that of a dog. Now I haven't seen any mother actually practice unconditional love in the purest form of acceptance. But I understand those that think that the love of a mother for her child might be close.
But this dog thing, that is intriguing.
In my neck of the woods, people absolutely love their dogs. Dogs are simple creatures. You feed them and take care of them and in return they shower us with unconditional love. Dogs don't care whether you had a bad day or not, whether your checking account is overdrawn, or that you just got fired. They shower us with affection when we get home, wagging their tails and licking us. Genuinely happy that their best friend is home.
Indeed, I've heard more than one dog owner say that they would like to become the person their dog thinks they are.
You see dogs don't care about your bad day. They care about you. They practice unconditional love. Why? Why can an animal with an allegedly smaller I.Q. practice something that humans can't? How can a dog practice unconditional love yet human beings think they can't?
The dog has an incredibly huge advantage. Dogs don't possess fear and thus they have no ego.
Oh, don't get me wrong-dogs possess fear to the extent that they sometimes are outmatched and flee but that is simply survival extinct. What they don't do is sit around judging us, fearing us, arguing with us, or giving us the silent treatment in some juvenile way of reconciling differences.
They don't have egos. They are simply dogs. Devoid of ego, they have the capacity to love us even when we have been pretty crappy friends or when we ignore them. They remain loyal and available to us.
This capacity to love unconditionally is found in a creature that can't build cars, or sell real estate, and they don't covet anything other than a treat or a bone. They don't care whether your truck is a 1969 or 2009 model. In fact, they could probably care less that we have a vehicle at all. They simply love us despite our flawed beliefs and faults. Unconditional acceptance and trust. Love.
Devoid of ego, dogs practice unconditional love. Think about that. Your dog may be trying to tell you something.
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