Up until this point, we have been trying to raise a simple awareness. A recognition that while the world has changed dramatically in 2000 years, human beings have simply stood still. There has been no emotional evolution among human beings and as some have pointed out, perhaps a de-evolution. We have remained hostage to faulty belief systems and we really are no better off than the people crucifying Christ. In fact, we adhere to the same faulty belief systems that we always have. Ego, fear, and thus control-justifies our actions. Clearly we believe that which in turn has us doing the same old garbage hoping for different results. Einstein's definition of insanity.
So we are willing to try something different. Change the experiment-thus the results.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Putting It All Together
You may have noticed a resounding theme throughout this blog as we've identified some of the insane behavior that humans engage in. Whether it's labeling or judging people, getting angry and diminishing others, fear and control, constantly comparing ourselves or coveting the possessions of others, or feeling the guilt or shame of our bad behavior. There is one miracle cure that causes every character defect we have ever had to simply vanish.
That cure is unconditional love. Make no mistake about it. It is real and it works.
To acquire and to possess unconditional love, we have to recognize and unlearn faulty beliefs. I have met no exceptions to this rule. Perhaps Echart Tolle. Of all of the countless Fathers, Ministers, non-profit workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, and counselors I have known and met, I have yet to meet just one of them that can look a patient in the eye and say, "Unconditional love will cure you." Or, "we know how to do it." They simply are unaware.
Why is that? Because they have accepted a belief system passed onto them. They have never met anyone that possesses such a thing. Therefore they believe, unconditional love is impossible.
I challenge you to find a degree program, anywhere in the United States, that teaches unconditional love. It is unheard of. And I will be the first person to tell you, that I didn't believe it either. A very funny thing happened. At first people were reluctant to hear what I said. They thought I might be insane. Some people I have talked to are actually beginning to understand that unconditional love is actually a choice you can make. You don't have to hate, really. Can we learn how to love instead? Do we have a choice? Of course we do. That's what this is all about.
Conceptually unconditional love is a very difficult concept to grasp. Most folks don't even know where to start. They don't know, "Whats in it for me?"
That is precisely where I was two years ago. Confused, bewildered, and laden with 46 years of ego and faulty belief systems I had no idea where to start or where it would lead me.
Let me offer one last illustration as an example. It is such a perfect illustration that it bears repeating. It is one of unconditional hate and the collective power of ego and unconditional haters. Imagine back in the 90's when Osama Bin Laden was forming his hatred for his "perceived" enemies. Searching for a way to destroy those Trade Center Towers. His creative problem solving skills and intelligence allowed him to find a way. With complete slavery to his false sense of self he was able to conceive a way, convince others through the clever manipulation of that ego and religion, to plan and carry out a mission that destroyed the lives of thousands. That act caused a ripple effect that sent a wake of additional grief and suffering among the survivors.
Are we required to hate Bin Laden for this? No. But you can if you want. Millions do. Thus we too, have a collective ego that says killing him is perfectly sane. A belief.
Clearly that act represented utter insanity yet Bin Laden has great intelligence and might very well do fine on any given IQ test or psychiatric test. Is he evil? Or is that a label we use?
Bin Laden is completely and utterly self absorbed by a false sense of self, an ego, that feels completely justified in killing human beings. Timothy McVeigh is another example. It is the type of insanity described by Tolle.
Thus if you can be captivated by this false belief system to perform acts of unconditional hate, can you rid yourself of that ego and perform acts of unconditional love?
Sure. You just have to change your belief system. Change it from one of hate to one of love. That's why we're here. If you can dream it, it's possible.
We are in the stage of recognition. Let's try to put this all together.
That cure is unconditional love. Make no mistake about it. It is real and it works.
To acquire and to possess unconditional love, we have to recognize and unlearn faulty beliefs. I have met no exceptions to this rule. Perhaps Echart Tolle. Of all of the countless Fathers, Ministers, non-profit workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, and counselors I have known and met, I have yet to meet just one of them that can look a patient in the eye and say, "Unconditional love will cure you." Or, "we know how to do it." They simply are unaware.
Why is that? Because they have accepted a belief system passed onto them. They have never met anyone that possesses such a thing. Therefore they believe, unconditional love is impossible.
I challenge you to find a degree program, anywhere in the United States, that teaches unconditional love. It is unheard of. And I will be the first person to tell you, that I didn't believe it either. A very funny thing happened. At first people were reluctant to hear what I said. They thought I might be insane. Some people I have talked to are actually beginning to understand that unconditional love is actually a choice you can make. You don't have to hate, really. Can we learn how to love instead? Do we have a choice? Of course we do. That's what this is all about.
Conceptually unconditional love is a very difficult concept to grasp. Most folks don't even know where to start. They don't know, "Whats in it for me?"
That is precisely where I was two years ago. Confused, bewildered, and laden with 46 years of ego and faulty belief systems I had no idea where to start or where it would lead me.
Let me offer one last illustration as an example. It is such a perfect illustration that it bears repeating. It is one of unconditional hate and the collective power of ego and unconditional haters. Imagine back in the 90's when Osama Bin Laden was forming his hatred for his "perceived" enemies. Searching for a way to destroy those Trade Center Towers. His creative problem solving skills and intelligence allowed him to find a way. With complete slavery to his false sense of self he was able to conceive a way, convince others through the clever manipulation of that ego and religion, to plan and carry out a mission that destroyed the lives of thousands. That act caused a ripple effect that sent a wake of additional grief and suffering among the survivors.
Are we required to hate Bin Laden for this? No. But you can if you want. Millions do. Thus we too, have a collective ego that says killing him is perfectly sane. A belief.
Clearly that act represented utter insanity yet Bin Laden has great intelligence and might very well do fine on any given IQ test or psychiatric test. Is he evil? Or is that a label we use?
Bin Laden is completely and utterly self absorbed by a false sense of self, an ego, that feels completely justified in killing human beings. Timothy McVeigh is another example. It is the type of insanity described by Tolle.
Thus if you can be captivated by this false belief system to perform acts of unconditional hate, can you rid yourself of that ego and perform acts of unconditional love?
Sure. You just have to change your belief system. Change it from one of hate to one of love. That's why we're here. If you can dream it, it's possible.
We are in the stage of recognition. Let's try to put this all together.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Your Dog is Trying to Tell You Something
The whole concept of unconditional love is difficult for most people to grasp. It is difficult for some people to define love and harder yet to understand unconditional love. Unconditional love is not a difficult concept, really. It is pure acceptance and the willingness to accept someone for all of their fears, faults, and resultant ego. And love them anyway.
In short it is a choice you make. Just like that choice you made to dislike your neighbor, your co-worker, your boss. You were unwilling to accept someone elses's flaws and judged them. Your ego was in control. It told you that judging someone else was acceptable.
On several occasions, I have brought the concept of unconditional love up with other people. They squirm, make some half-hearted attempt to explain it, and none believe it is possible. The closest thing most will say is that unconditional love is perhaps only possible between a mother and a child. Or that of a dog. Now I haven't seen any mother actually practice unconditional love in the purest form of acceptance. But I understand those that think that the love of a mother for her child might be close.
But this dog thing, that is intriguing.
In my neck of the woods, people absolutely love their dogs. Dogs are simple creatures. You feed them and take care of them and in return they shower us with unconditional love. Dogs don't care whether you had a bad day or not, whether your checking account is overdrawn, or that you just got fired. They shower us with affection when we get home, wagging their tails and licking us. Genuinely happy that their best friend is home.
Indeed, I've heard more than one dog owner say that they would like to become the person their dog thinks they are.
You see dogs don't care about your bad day. They care about you. They practice unconditional love. Why? Why can an animal with an allegedly smaller I.Q. practice something that humans can't? How can a dog practice unconditional love yet human beings think they can't?
The dog has an incredibly huge advantage. Dogs don't possess fear and thus they have no ego.
Oh, don't get me wrong-dogs possess fear to the extent that they sometimes are outmatched and flee but that is simply survival extinct. What they don't do is sit around judging us, fearing us, arguing with us, or giving us the silent treatment in some juvenile way of reconciling differences.
They don't have egos. They are simply dogs. Devoid of ego, they have the capacity to love us even when we have been pretty crappy friends or when we ignore them. They remain loyal and available to us.
This capacity to love unconditionally is found in a creature that can't build cars, or sell real estate, and they don't covet anything other than a treat or a bone. They don't care whether your truck is a 1969 or 2009 model. In fact, they could probably care less that we have a vehicle at all. They simply love us despite our flawed beliefs and faults. Unconditional acceptance and trust. Love.
Devoid of ego, dogs practice unconditional love. Think about that. Your dog may be trying to tell you something.
In short it is a choice you make. Just like that choice you made to dislike your neighbor, your co-worker, your boss. You were unwilling to accept someone elses's flaws and judged them. Your ego was in control. It told you that judging someone else was acceptable.
On several occasions, I have brought the concept of unconditional love up with other people. They squirm, make some half-hearted attempt to explain it, and none believe it is possible. The closest thing most will say is that unconditional love is perhaps only possible between a mother and a child. Or that of a dog. Now I haven't seen any mother actually practice unconditional love in the purest form of acceptance. But I understand those that think that the love of a mother for her child might be close.
But this dog thing, that is intriguing.
In my neck of the woods, people absolutely love their dogs. Dogs are simple creatures. You feed them and take care of them and in return they shower us with unconditional love. Dogs don't care whether you had a bad day or not, whether your checking account is overdrawn, or that you just got fired. They shower us with affection when we get home, wagging their tails and licking us. Genuinely happy that their best friend is home.
Indeed, I've heard more than one dog owner say that they would like to become the person their dog thinks they are.
You see dogs don't care about your bad day. They care about you. They practice unconditional love. Why? Why can an animal with an allegedly smaller I.Q. practice something that humans can't? How can a dog practice unconditional love yet human beings think they can't?
The dog has an incredibly huge advantage. Dogs don't possess fear and thus they have no ego.
Oh, don't get me wrong-dogs possess fear to the extent that they sometimes are outmatched and flee but that is simply survival extinct. What they don't do is sit around judging us, fearing us, arguing with us, or giving us the silent treatment in some juvenile way of reconciling differences.
They don't have egos. They are simply dogs. Devoid of ego, they have the capacity to love us even when we have been pretty crappy friends or when we ignore them. They remain loyal and available to us.
This capacity to love unconditionally is found in a creature that can't build cars, or sell real estate, and they don't covet anything other than a treat or a bone. They don't care whether your truck is a 1969 or 2009 model. In fact, they could probably care less that we have a vehicle at all. They simply love us despite our flawed beliefs and faults. Unconditional acceptance and trust. Love.
Devoid of ego, dogs practice unconditional love. Think about that. Your dog may be trying to tell you something.
Essay 10. Uncommunicated Expectations
Of all the irrational and insane conduct on this planet, nothing makes me laugh more than this subject.
Really. As you were growing up and acquiring all of your belief systems-good and bad-how in the world would you expect that the people that you interact with would inherently know what your beliefs and expectations are? Is that remotely possible? Of course not.
One of the greatest sources of conflict on this planet occurs in the workplace. Most of us have worked for people that we liked and people that we didn't like. Managers, because they are human, come with all sorts of beliefs, fears, and resultant controlling behaviors. They have an internal set of instructions that results in ego. Most, if not all, of those fears and needs go uncommunicated as they go about working and living their lives. Your success and happiness in the workplace will to a large degree, depend on your ability to learn what those belief systems are and your willingness to agree to those terms. Some folks, completely absorbed by ego, cannot work for anyone. Often they become business owners and tyrants, holding employees hostage to their non negotiable belief systems. Thus, their uncommunicated expectations.
You won't find those expectations in a job description or a policy manual. Co-workers may tell you more than a boss ever will. You can make some logical assumptions about what may be expected of you. Thus employees acquire a collective belief system of their managers and bosses. Millions of workers understand this and for many, this becomes key to their survival and whether or not they get promoted.
Uncommunicated expectations are simply future resentments. They occur everywhere. We believe that people should behave the way we want or expect. When they don't, we get angry, hostile, frustrated. When a driver rolls through a stop sign, we get angry. When your wife buys her 115th pair of shoes, you are miffed. When a co-worker screws off on the cellphone, your workload increases. When you leave wet towels on the bed, or perhaps even the toilet seat up, your wife gets angry.
As we fail to uncover uncommunicated expectations we suffer the consequences and frustrations of others. We get further mired in the tar pit as we discuss those problems with third parties.
We all have uncommunicated expectations. Expectations in and of themselves are not necessarily bad. They become bad when we don't talk about them with those involved and some negative energy ensues.
We are terrible communicators. Human beings absolutely suck at this. Forgive me, there is simply no better way of putting this. That is my belief which you do not have to agree with.
Years ago, in college, I had a roommate who ate my groceries all the time. He never offered money or replacements. I tried to communicate my expectations and each time I did, he agreed to buy his own and quit eating mine. He never did this. I got tired of talking to him. Eventually, I simply jettisoned the situation by leaving. I did not pay the last month's rent, figuring very nearly that he had consumed an amount of groceries that equaled my half of the rent that month. He was livid. We almost came to blows over the situation. He was entrenched in his belief that the rent was an entirely separate situation than his filching my groceries. I was entrenched in my belief that I was justified in stiffing him. We both handled the situation poorly because we both had belief systems that said the other person was wrong. In examining my role in that situation I understand where I went wrong and it probably began in my selection of roommates. I could have locked my groceries up. I could have paid the rent or communicated that I was prepared not to pay in advance. My ego told me that I was right and I wanted revenge. My roommate, well he'll have to take responsibility for his actions.
This insane idea that our beliefs are the only valid beliefs is key. Our inability to communicate effectively causes this insanity to occur and fester as we get hostile and bitter over the failings of our co-workers, friends, families, and loved ones.
The only way to work through this insanity is by establishing communication and ratcheting down our expectations. We must be willing to communicate about everything with close loved ones. And we cannot ever diminish their expectations. Their beliefs and expectations are very real to them.
It is ok to make goals, just refuse to attach an outcome to them. It works.
Uncommunicated expectations contain a slice of everything we have talked about thus far. Ego, beliefs, acceptance and negative judgments, fear and control, victimology and self pity. Sometimes, this conflict results in actual hatred and revenge. Depression, crimes of passion, suicide.
The cure for all of this? Unconditional love and acceptance. You are not required to engage in any of this insanity. It is always a choice and we want to make better choices, to be happy. Perhaps you enjoy life in that emotional tar pit, if so- by all means you are free to continue living your life and getting angry when uncommunicated expectations of yours go unmet or you ignore those of the people around you.
Really. As you were growing up and acquiring all of your belief systems-good and bad-how in the world would you expect that the people that you interact with would inherently know what your beliefs and expectations are? Is that remotely possible? Of course not.
One of the greatest sources of conflict on this planet occurs in the workplace. Most of us have worked for people that we liked and people that we didn't like. Managers, because they are human, come with all sorts of beliefs, fears, and resultant controlling behaviors. They have an internal set of instructions that results in ego. Most, if not all, of those fears and needs go uncommunicated as they go about working and living their lives. Your success and happiness in the workplace will to a large degree, depend on your ability to learn what those belief systems are and your willingness to agree to those terms. Some folks, completely absorbed by ego, cannot work for anyone. Often they become business owners and tyrants, holding employees hostage to their non negotiable belief systems. Thus, their uncommunicated expectations.
You won't find those expectations in a job description or a policy manual. Co-workers may tell you more than a boss ever will. You can make some logical assumptions about what may be expected of you. Thus employees acquire a collective belief system of their managers and bosses. Millions of workers understand this and for many, this becomes key to their survival and whether or not they get promoted.
Uncommunicated expectations are simply future resentments. They occur everywhere. We believe that people should behave the way we want or expect. When they don't, we get angry, hostile, frustrated. When a driver rolls through a stop sign, we get angry. When your wife buys her 115th pair of shoes, you are miffed. When a co-worker screws off on the cellphone, your workload increases. When you leave wet towels on the bed, or perhaps even the toilet seat up, your wife gets angry.
As we fail to uncover uncommunicated expectations we suffer the consequences and frustrations of others. We get further mired in the tar pit as we discuss those problems with third parties.
We all have uncommunicated expectations. Expectations in and of themselves are not necessarily bad. They become bad when we don't talk about them with those involved and some negative energy ensues.
We are terrible communicators. Human beings absolutely suck at this. Forgive me, there is simply no better way of putting this. That is my belief which you do not have to agree with.
Years ago, in college, I had a roommate who ate my groceries all the time. He never offered money or replacements. I tried to communicate my expectations and each time I did, he agreed to buy his own and quit eating mine. He never did this. I got tired of talking to him. Eventually, I simply jettisoned the situation by leaving. I did not pay the last month's rent, figuring very nearly that he had consumed an amount of groceries that equaled my half of the rent that month. He was livid. We almost came to blows over the situation. He was entrenched in his belief that the rent was an entirely separate situation than his filching my groceries. I was entrenched in my belief that I was justified in stiffing him. We both handled the situation poorly because we both had belief systems that said the other person was wrong. In examining my role in that situation I understand where I went wrong and it probably began in my selection of roommates. I could have locked my groceries up. I could have paid the rent or communicated that I was prepared not to pay in advance. My ego told me that I was right and I wanted revenge. My roommate, well he'll have to take responsibility for his actions.
This insane idea that our beliefs are the only valid beliefs is key. Our inability to communicate effectively causes this insanity to occur and fester as we get hostile and bitter over the failings of our co-workers, friends, families, and loved ones.
The only way to work through this insanity is by establishing communication and ratcheting down our expectations. We must be willing to communicate about everything with close loved ones. And we cannot ever diminish their expectations. Their beliefs and expectations are very real to them.
It is ok to make goals, just refuse to attach an outcome to them. It works.
Uncommunicated expectations contain a slice of everything we have talked about thus far. Ego, beliefs, acceptance and negative judgments, fear and control, victimology and self pity. Sometimes, this conflict results in actual hatred and revenge. Depression, crimes of passion, suicide.
The cure for all of this? Unconditional love and acceptance. You are not required to engage in any of this insanity. It is always a choice and we want to make better choices, to be happy. Perhaps you enjoy life in that emotional tar pit, if so- by all means you are free to continue living your life and getting angry when uncommunicated expectations of yours go unmet or you ignore those of the people around you.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Essay 9. Victimology and Self Pity
Let's take a candid look at victimology and self pity. Victimology and self pity represent major obstacles in our quest for emotional freedom. First we will see where we acquire those beliefs, how to examine them, and how to free ourselves from their grasp.
Adversity is guaranteed to strike. It is how we handle adversity that truly matters.
Clearly, we can become victims. We are victims of bad belief systems instilled in us by our parents. Many of those beliefs are well intentioned. Some are not. Sometimes, those beliefs prevent us from obtaining the proper emotional tools to deal with our problems. Sometimes we acquire bad beliefs through relatives, friends, and experiences. We may be victimized by criminal behavior or in some instances, just bad luck.
If you believe you are a victim, then in essence you are and it is true. It becomes a belief system. You can indulge in all of the self pity you want and you can certainly enlist your sympathetic friends, families, and even attorneys to commiserate with you. They will enable you to do this.
The problem is, is that accepting that you are a victim or indulging in self pity will prevent you from ever getting well or emotionally free. It is a self fulfilling and damning emotional tar pit that quite honestly-I have seen many people get mired in and die without ever recognizing the escape route.
You will fall in that tar pit. We know this. We want you to recognize it and escape when it happens.
Our first step is resolution. We apply rigorous honesty to our failings and shortcomings. To our existing thoughts that we are victims. To each and every resentment. We examine our role in every situation in which we "think" we were victimized. We accept our role and responsibility with unflinching honesty. And we take ACTION to not repeat our mistakes. This is key.
Perhaps you discover that your wife or girlfriend is sleeping with another man. You feel angry, betrayed, hostile. You see yourself as a victim. You tell your friends and relatives. They shower you with sympathy and they further entrench you in the belief that you are right, you are a victim. Your ego entrenches, it is hurt. Your ego demands apologies, vindication, and unconditional surrender from your unfaithful partner which of course it doesn't get. You fail to examine your role. You fail to see your selection of a mate, or you fail to see your own selfish actions prior to the affair, and all the while that ego of yours exerts fear and control. It says you were right. That false sense of self and those enabling and sympathetic friends have helped you lie to yourself. You are stuck in the tar pit and if you want, you can wallow there for years. Build hostilities, resentments, see counselors. Stay angry, hostile, depressed. Or get well.
Acceptance. Your cheating partner was simply living her life. The relationship was over long before the symptom showed up. She was just trying to live her life and made a bad choice in how to do that. Really. It had nothing to do with you. In fact, it never does. We'll take about this later on. So the quicker we accept this, the less emotional damage we cause ourselves.
That is how emotionally free people let go and let go fast. Believing that you are a victim and a hostage prolongs all those negative emotions, anger, animosity, fear, loss of control, self esteem, depression.
So we accept that our partner is free to live her life. We refuse to be a victim or beat ourselves to death emotionally worrying about what we did wrong. We apply the rigorous honesty rule and we accept where we screwed up. We resolve our failings and forgive ourselves. We are thus arming ourselves to recover quickly. We realize suddenly, that by CHOOSING to be victims, we victimize ourselves and prolong our time in the tar pit.
Self pity works much the same way. By whining, justifying, and rationalizing our actions we simply struggle in the tar pit. Talk shows are absolutely filled with unconscious, ego driven, and the faulty belief systems of the host, guest, and audience. The other day in a restaurant, I heard the waitresses whining about the cooks, an attractive gal whining about her roommates to a couple of male friends, and my own guest talking about her problems. To say that we are a nation of victims and people fully engaged in self pity may be an understatement.
Emotionally free and conscious people understand the ill effects of enmeshing our friends or ourselves in faulty belief systems and lying to ourselves. We don't like the tar pit much and to stay out of it, we don't allow our false sense of self to run us. We REFUSE to be victims even when we are. We reject self pity.
We do our best, we accept adversity, we identify and resolve ill feelings and commit to improvements to modify our behavior. We apply rigorous honesty. We refuse to be victims or engage in self pity. Why? When we fail to examine our role, we really engage in dishonest behavior with ourselves, don't we? And in the end, we only hurt ourselves. Emotionally free people understand this. It is actually quite simple.
Adversity is guaranteed to strike. It is how we handle adversity that truly matters.
Clearly, we can become victims. We are victims of bad belief systems instilled in us by our parents. Many of those beliefs are well intentioned. Some are not. Sometimes, those beliefs prevent us from obtaining the proper emotional tools to deal with our problems. Sometimes we acquire bad beliefs through relatives, friends, and experiences. We may be victimized by criminal behavior or in some instances, just bad luck.
If you believe you are a victim, then in essence you are and it is true. It becomes a belief system. You can indulge in all of the self pity you want and you can certainly enlist your sympathetic friends, families, and even attorneys to commiserate with you. They will enable you to do this.
The problem is, is that accepting that you are a victim or indulging in self pity will prevent you from ever getting well or emotionally free. It is a self fulfilling and damning emotional tar pit that quite honestly-I have seen many people get mired in and die without ever recognizing the escape route.
You will fall in that tar pit. We know this. We want you to recognize it and escape when it happens.
Our first step is resolution. We apply rigorous honesty to our failings and shortcomings. To our existing thoughts that we are victims. To each and every resentment. We examine our role in every situation in which we "think" we were victimized. We accept our role and responsibility with unflinching honesty. And we take ACTION to not repeat our mistakes. This is key.
Perhaps you discover that your wife or girlfriend is sleeping with another man. You feel angry, betrayed, hostile. You see yourself as a victim. You tell your friends and relatives. They shower you with sympathy and they further entrench you in the belief that you are right, you are a victim. Your ego entrenches, it is hurt. Your ego demands apologies, vindication, and unconditional surrender from your unfaithful partner which of course it doesn't get. You fail to examine your role. You fail to see your selection of a mate, or you fail to see your own selfish actions prior to the affair, and all the while that ego of yours exerts fear and control. It says you were right. That false sense of self and those enabling and sympathetic friends have helped you lie to yourself. You are stuck in the tar pit and if you want, you can wallow there for years. Build hostilities, resentments, see counselors. Stay angry, hostile, depressed. Or get well.
Acceptance. Your cheating partner was simply living her life. The relationship was over long before the symptom showed up. She was just trying to live her life and made a bad choice in how to do that. Really. It had nothing to do with you. In fact, it never does. We'll take about this later on. So the quicker we accept this, the less emotional damage we cause ourselves.
That is how emotionally free people let go and let go fast. Believing that you are a victim and a hostage prolongs all those negative emotions, anger, animosity, fear, loss of control, self esteem, depression.
So we accept that our partner is free to live her life. We refuse to be a victim or beat ourselves to death emotionally worrying about what we did wrong. We apply the rigorous honesty rule and we accept where we screwed up. We resolve our failings and forgive ourselves. We are thus arming ourselves to recover quickly. We realize suddenly, that by CHOOSING to be victims, we victimize ourselves and prolong our time in the tar pit.
Self pity works much the same way. By whining, justifying, and rationalizing our actions we simply struggle in the tar pit. Talk shows are absolutely filled with unconscious, ego driven, and the faulty belief systems of the host, guest, and audience. The other day in a restaurant, I heard the waitresses whining about the cooks, an attractive gal whining about her roommates to a couple of male friends, and my own guest talking about her problems. To say that we are a nation of victims and people fully engaged in self pity may be an understatement.
Emotionally free and conscious people understand the ill effects of enmeshing our friends or ourselves in faulty belief systems and lying to ourselves. We don't like the tar pit much and to stay out of it, we don't allow our false sense of self to run us. We REFUSE to be victims even when we are. We reject self pity.
We do our best, we accept adversity, we identify and resolve ill feelings and commit to improvements to modify our behavior. We apply rigorous honesty. We refuse to be victims or engage in self pity. Why? When we fail to examine our role, we really engage in dishonest behavior with ourselves, don't we? And in the end, we only hurt ourselves. Emotionally free people understand this. It is actually quite simple.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Was Jesus Real?
This is not a religious piece. Please don't misinterpret it. This is a historical piece. You will not read this anywhere else. At least I haven't. This is my belief. You are free to accept it or reject it. I offer it only as a belief system that I have recently acquired based on new information and how that came to be.
For years, I have struggled with religion. As a kid it bored me and the subjectivity of religion is confusing. As a young adult, I began to question the existence of God. I simply couldn't escape the concept that God was conveniently fear based and most likely invented by man in some desperate need to come to terms with our greatest fear and try to control it, death.
So as I wandered through the evidence for evolution, I became agnostic. I accepted the belief that we had just made it all up. Try as I might, I read many books available on the subject-both for and against-the existence of God. My beliefs were unresolved. I then turned my attention to tangible evidence to try to prove the existence of God. Why didn't that evidence exist? Where was this Arc of the Covenant, the Ten Commandments, the Holy Grail, the Shroud of Turin? I talked to Catholic Priests and Christian ministers. Devoutly religious people. They didn't help. I was always amazed at the intuitive belief systems of devoutly religious people. How had they acquired their beliefs and why had I been left behind?
So all of my life I have spent searching for the answer to the greatest mystery of all. A few days ago, I found it.
It had always been there. That tangible piece of evidence I could never find, I found. It came as the result of a rational concept or belief I had been exploring.
I have never spoken to anyone that believed unconditional love was possible. This is where it all began. I realized that unconditional love conquers everything. I also realized that whether you believe in unconditional love or not, is simply an opinion. Opinions and thus beliefs are fallible. That is what we have been discussing on this blog. Unconditional love conquers fear and control, it conquers anger, hate, and war. Unconditional love, a respect for all human life, is possible because I can conceive it and dream it. Can I achieve it? I don't know but a few humans have come mighty close.
We practice unconditional hate. That is certainly possible. Think about those planes on 09/11/2001 flying into buildings. So if unconditional hate is possible, why then is unconditional love not possible?
In Eckhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth", Tolle makes an astounding statement. He stated that Jesus, as he was dying on the cross uttered, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." I had heard and been taught this as a child. But as Tolle described it, he said that only a man who was completely aware of the false beliefs and the false sense of self that humans possess could have uttered such a thing.
Tolle does not elaborate on Jesus' statement other than to say that from his perspective, Jesus' statement was entirely correct. It was uttered by a man that was completely aware-who understood that human beings were held hostage to fear and control, a false sense of self and ego, and that they simply did not recognize this. Indeed the Jews themselves did not believe in Christ. Completely held captive to their opinions that Jesus would come and rid the earth of their enemies. Their collective and false belief system.
I remember a statement that the great Albert Einstein made once. He believed that one day science and religion would converge and one day tend to prove each other rather than be at odds with each other.
Was Tolle's science, the science of the human mind and ego, that false sense of self driven by fear and thus control, the science Einstein spoke of?
Here then is the undeniable evidence. If Jesus' was conscious and aware of this, he understood his presence on earth made men fearful particularly the rulers of the day; he understood that they would exercise control to rid themselves of that of which they feared. A Christ that had no title, was no annointed King, who threatened to disrupt their well established power, control, and credibility. He was thus sentenced to death.
And as he lay dying on that cross, he uttered a statement that Tolle accepted as true. A statement of unconditional love and understanding, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."
No human being could have uttered such a thing. A statement of unconditional love for the men that had put him to death. A statement from a man who had committed no crime. A statement from a man that was completely aware of the false sense of self and ego, of fear, that rules the inevitable failings of men. Thus he understood that he could not control the outcome and he accepted his fate. Most importantly, he did not fear that fate like men.
That single statement was completely rational and truthful according to Tolle. For me it was inescapable and undeniable. In a world ruled by fear and ego, here was a statement uttered 2000 years ago by a man, the Son of God, that no mortal could have recognized or uttered. It had to be uttered by the only thing that could have uttered it. God in the form of Jesus.
What proliferated thereafter, in the form of writing and books and religion is irrelevant. It is all conceived and manipulated by fearful and unconscious, mistake prone, human beings. Translated incorrectly and manipulated by man to promote his brand of fear and control.
I made this discovery a few days ago. It was without question for me-proof positive-that Jesus was real and clearly the son of God. God understands unconditional love while no man, although a few have come close, does understand this. I don't need a tangible piece of evidence in the form of the Arc of the Covenant, a Holy Grail, or divine intervention although that may have been what happened here.
I always had the evidence, I learned it years ago. Tolle revealed a statement and then interpreted it for me. Einstein may have corroborated it. A completely truthful and tangible statement of unconditional love uttered by the only being capable of doing so. A man that understood this at a time when nobody else understood it.
Perhaps the real point that day was unconditional love for all of mankind. That was the word of God.
For years, I have struggled with religion. As a kid it bored me and the subjectivity of religion is confusing. As a young adult, I began to question the existence of God. I simply couldn't escape the concept that God was conveniently fear based and most likely invented by man in some desperate need to come to terms with our greatest fear and try to control it, death.
So as I wandered through the evidence for evolution, I became agnostic. I accepted the belief that we had just made it all up. Try as I might, I read many books available on the subject-both for and against-the existence of God. My beliefs were unresolved. I then turned my attention to tangible evidence to try to prove the existence of God. Why didn't that evidence exist? Where was this Arc of the Covenant, the Ten Commandments, the Holy Grail, the Shroud of Turin? I talked to Catholic Priests and Christian ministers. Devoutly religious people. They didn't help. I was always amazed at the intuitive belief systems of devoutly religious people. How had they acquired their beliefs and why had I been left behind?
So all of my life I have spent searching for the answer to the greatest mystery of all. A few days ago, I found it.
It had always been there. That tangible piece of evidence I could never find, I found. It came as the result of a rational concept or belief I had been exploring.
I have never spoken to anyone that believed unconditional love was possible. This is where it all began. I realized that unconditional love conquers everything. I also realized that whether you believe in unconditional love or not, is simply an opinion. Opinions and thus beliefs are fallible. That is what we have been discussing on this blog. Unconditional love conquers fear and control, it conquers anger, hate, and war. Unconditional love, a respect for all human life, is possible because I can conceive it and dream it. Can I achieve it? I don't know but a few humans have come mighty close.
We practice unconditional hate. That is certainly possible. Think about those planes on 09/11/2001 flying into buildings. So if unconditional hate is possible, why then is unconditional love not possible?
In Eckhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth", Tolle makes an astounding statement. He stated that Jesus, as he was dying on the cross uttered, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." I had heard and been taught this as a child. But as Tolle described it, he said that only a man who was completely aware of the false beliefs and the false sense of self that humans possess could have uttered such a thing.
Tolle does not elaborate on Jesus' statement other than to say that from his perspective, Jesus' statement was entirely correct. It was uttered by a man that was completely aware-who understood that human beings were held hostage to fear and control, a false sense of self and ego, and that they simply did not recognize this. Indeed the Jews themselves did not believe in Christ. Completely held captive to their opinions that Jesus would come and rid the earth of their enemies. Their collective and false belief system.
I remember a statement that the great Albert Einstein made once. He believed that one day science and religion would converge and one day tend to prove each other rather than be at odds with each other.
Was Tolle's science, the science of the human mind and ego, that false sense of self driven by fear and thus control, the science Einstein spoke of?
Here then is the undeniable evidence. If Jesus' was conscious and aware of this, he understood his presence on earth made men fearful particularly the rulers of the day; he understood that they would exercise control to rid themselves of that of which they feared. A Christ that had no title, was no annointed King, who threatened to disrupt their well established power, control, and credibility. He was thus sentenced to death.
And as he lay dying on that cross, he uttered a statement that Tolle accepted as true. A statement of unconditional love and understanding, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."
No human being could have uttered such a thing. A statement of unconditional love for the men that had put him to death. A statement from a man who had committed no crime. A statement from a man that was completely aware of the false sense of self and ego, of fear, that rules the inevitable failings of men. Thus he understood that he could not control the outcome and he accepted his fate. Most importantly, he did not fear that fate like men.
That single statement was completely rational and truthful according to Tolle. For me it was inescapable and undeniable. In a world ruled by fear and ego, here was a statement uttered 2000 years ago by a man, the Son of God, that no mortal could have recognized or uttered. It had to be uttered by the only thing that could have uttered it. God in the form of Jesus.
What proliferated thereafter, in the form of writing and books and religion is irrelevant. It is all conceived and manipulated by fearful and unconscious, mistake prone, human beings. Translated incorrectly and manipulated by man to promote his brand of fear and control.
I made this discovery a few days ago. It was without question for me-proof positive-that Jesus was real and clearly the son of God. God understands unconditional love while no man, although a few have come close, does understand this. I don't need a tangible piece of evidence in the form of the Arc of the Covenant, a Holy Grail, or divine intervention although that may have been what happened here.
I always had the evidence, I learned it years ago. Tolle revealed a statement and then interpreted it for me. Einstein may have corroborated it. A completely truthful and tangible statement of unconditional love uttered by the only being capable of doing so. A man that understood this at a time when nobody else understood it.
Perhaps the real point that day was unconditional love for all of mankind. That was the word of God.
Essay 8. Fear and Control
We cannot understate the role of fear and control. It is at the heart of virtually everything done on this planet. It is so prevalent that individuals will be subjected to it several times each day directly and many more times indirectly. Fear strikes at the very heart of everything we do. It is unrelenting and stifling. It becomes part of each individuals ego and they form collective egos or beliefs. They impose them on each other.
There is good news. There is a cure.
Let's return to Plato's cave for a moment. We accept that individuals are "domesticated" and taught differing beliefs by their instructors. It simply stands to reason that people would acquire differing fears which are planted and firmly rooted in them. Individuals do not make a habit of disclosing fear because they actually fear that their fears are unfounded and they will be criticized! People do not wander about proclaiming from the rooftops that "Here I am-a fearful human being!" Nor do they go out on dates and say, "sweet heart, I am absolutely afraid of abandonment and if we fall in love and then break up, I am going to stalk you and torture you for years."
Often, I gave this piece of advice. If a daughter dislikes or hates her father, "run for the hills." Why? Because I had a belief system, very often true but not infallible, that if a daughter disliked her father she would be fearful of men. Because she fears men, very often that daughter would be controlling and when you did not meet her expectations, all hell would break loose.
How often was that correct? More than I care to mention. However, that blanket rule was not infallible and sometimes wrong. The blanket application of the belief was illusory.
The point is, is that in Plato's cave, as prisoners we all learned and acquired beliefs and thus fears. They are uniquely individual and manifest themselves as things we vow to ourselves we will never repeat or disclose. We then impose them on others.
We simply cannot identify the vast array of the fears in someone else. The vast majority of people aren't even conscious enough to recognize them nor do they communicate them. They just run around trying to impose their fears and thus control on everybody around them. Refusing to submit to demands for control lands you with the consequences. Whether that's getting your ass chewed, getting fired, or landing in jail.
This occurs daily. At work, their is always someone who is fearful. Of not being smart enough. Of failing to do the right thing. Some fear an inability to scale a ladder of success. Some fear that if they do not separate themselves, distinguish themselves, they will not be promotable or they will be denied the earnings to buy that new house or BMW. Completely hostage to these fears, they make others look bad, diminish them, "hurt" them, engage in gossip, tattling, or any number of insane manifestations.
Every law and every commandment is rooted in fear and control. Think about it. I don't care whether you are talking about the death penalty, arson, drug laws, or the speed limit. The ten commandments are also rooted in fear. Whether it is lying or coveting your neighbors wife. If we fear it, we will try to control it. Our brand of control.
On a personal level, fear and control are at the heart of all of your relationships. If you or a loved one fear something, you will try to control it.
We should pause and reflect on this. Many laws and perhaps the ten commandments may be designed to protect us and provide a frame work for living good lives. Some fears have enabled us to survive. Fear has a very real and positive role in our lives. In some instances, fear is very useful.
As we recognize fears, we begin to separate useful fears from completely irrational fear. Irrational fear and thus control has lead to lynch mobs, workplace violence, and war. Some fears like walking through a bad neighborhood with warring gangs, may be well founded and useful.
The goal of this essay is simply to make you aware of all of the fear around you. Once you recognize that you are fearful and controlling-and that others are too-you can begin to analyze what is rational and what is not.
There is simply no way of understanding every human being well enough to get their list of fears. The good news is-is that we don't have to.
We recognize that people are ruled by fear. We accept some of their fears and we reject some. But we always understand them as true for those that believe them to be. Our loved ones have acquired belief systems which we respect for no other reason than we simply love them unconditionally. We agree to those terms.
Unconditional love is the cure I spoke of. In my introduction, I speak of this.
If you can dream it, you can do it. If fear kills us, unconditional love saves us. You are about to read the most profound discovery that I have ever made. It occurred only a few days ago.
It set all of my irrational fear on it's ear and the story you are about to read encapsulates fear and control, unconditional love, and it inherently proves (for me) the existence of a higher power. By all my measures, it is the greatest truth ever told.
There is good news. There is a cure.
Let's return to Plato's cave for a moment. We accept that individuals are "domesticated" and taught differing beliefs by their instructors. It simply stands to reason that people would acquire differing fears which are planted and firmly rooted in them. Individuals do not make a habit of disclosing fear because they actually fear that their fears are unfounded and they will be criticized! People do not wander about proclaiming from the rooftops that "Here I am-a fearful human being!" Nor do they go out on dates and say, "sweet heart, I am absolutely afraid of abandonment and if we fall in love and then break up, I am going to stalk you and torture you for years."
Often, I gave this piece of advice. If a daughter dislikes or hates her father, "run for the hills." Why? Because I had a belief system, very often true but not infallible, that if a daughter disliked her father she would be fearful of men. Because she fears men, very often that daughter would be controlling and when you did not meet her expectations, all hell would break loose.
How often was that correct? More than I care to mention. However, that blanket rule was not infallible and sometimes wrong. The blanket application of the belief was illusory.
The point is, is that in Plato's cave, as prisoners we all learned and acquired beliefs and thus fears. They are uniquely individual and manifest themselves as things we vow to ourselves we will never repeat or disclose. We then impose them on others.
We simply cannot identify the vast array of the fears in someone else. The vast majority of people aren't even conscious enough to recognize them nor do they communicate them. They just run around trying to impose their fears and thus control on everybody around them. Refusing to submit to demands for control lands you with the consequences. Whether that's getting your ass chewed, getting fired, or landing in jail.
This occurs daily. At work, their is always someone who is fearful. Of not being smart enough. Of failing to do the right thing. Some fear an inability to scale a ladder of success. Some fear that if they do not separate themselves, distinguish themselves, they will not be promotable or they will be denied the earnings to buy that new house or BMW. Completely hostage to these fears, they make others look bad, diminish them, "hurt" them, engage in gossip, tattling, or any number of insane manifestations.
Every law and every commandment is rooted in fear and control. Think about it. I don't care whether you are talking about the death penalty, arson, drug laws, or the speed limit. The ten commandments are also rooted in fear. Whether it is lying or coveting your neighbors wife. If we fear it, we will try to control it. Our brand of control.
On a personal level, fear and control are at the heart of all of your relationships. If you or a loved one fear something, you will try to control it.
We should pause and reflect on this. Many laws and perhaps the ten commandments may be designed to protect us and provide a frame work for living good lives. Some fears have enabled us to survive. Fear has a very real and positive role in our lives. In some instances, fear is very useful.
As we recognize fears, we begin to separate useful fears from completely irrational fear. Irrational fear and thus control has lead to lynch mobs, workplace violence, and war. Some fears like walking through a bad neighborhood with warring gangs, may be well founded and useful.
The goal of this essay is simply to make you aware of all of the fear around you. Once you recognize that you are fearful and controlling-and that others are too-you can begin to analyze what is rational and what is not.
There is simply no way of understanding every human being well enough to get their list of fears. The good news is-is that we don't have to.
We recognize that people are ruled by fear. We accept some of their fears and we reject some. But we always understand them as true for those that believe them to be. Our loved ones have acquired belief systems which we respect for no other reason than we simply love them unconditionally. We agree to those terms.
Unconditional love is the cure I spoke of. In my introduction, I speak of this.
If you can dream it, you can do it. If fear kills us, unconditional love saves us. You are about to read the most profound discovery that I have ever made. It occurred only a few days ago.
It set all of my irrational fear on it's ear and the story you are about to read encapsulates fear and control, unconditional love, and it inherently proves (for me) the existence of a higher power. By all my measures, it is the greatest truth ever told.
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